What It's Like To Have Anxiety

What It's Like To Have Anxiety

Ever wondered what it's like to have anxiety? Here's my personal experience with it.
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Hi, I'm Alix, I'm 19, and I deal with an anxiety disorder.

Over the course of my life, everyone always just said I was quiet, I was shy. Growing up though, I could tell it was more than that. "Shy" doesn't give you the feeling of impending doom when something is stressing you out, "shy" doesn't make you want to vomit when you're forced to interact with strangers. Of course, I'm quiet, but I'm thinking of a million things - most likely worse scenario to happen at any given moment. When I'm in a car and I'm quiet, I'm not listening to the music or what you're saying, I'm thinking what would happen if someone hit us head-on or what we would do if something in the car exploded.

When I'm walking around at night. I follow every precaution that prevents me from being kidnapped or whatever. Hair down, check. They usually target people who have their hair in a bun or ponytail. Fake talking on the phone so they think I'd have a witness, check. Every little thing I follow to a T, for no apparent reason.

Realistically, I know it's unlikely that anything like that would happen, especially on a college campus. But my anxiety, on the other hand, is constantly of a course crash of destruction in my mind going through and through every possible scenario. Some days, it's okay. Most days, I'm good at hiding how I'm feeling internally. People usually are so shocked that I love going to concerts with this disorder. Concerts are kind of a safe place for me, for some weird reason. However, don't think that the worst situations don't run through my mind a million times before I finally relax and enjoy life in the moment.

Anxiety is awful, it can feel like drowning while everyone else is living just fine. It can feel like a claustrophobic room, or maybe a dark hole that you keep falling down into and can't seem to stop falling. Take it from me, though. Anyone dealing with anxiety can beat it. It sucks, but it's not the end of the world.

Now go out and conquer the world, YOU can handle this.

If you or someone you know is dealing with an anxiety disorder, here's a hotline:

CALL OR TEXT: 919-231-4525 | 1-877-235-4525

Cover Image Credit: pixabay

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What Everyone With Diabetes Wishes You Knew

I wish people knew that it is a constant battle.
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I do my best to keep my story positive. I am a positive person day in and day out, but I can’t help but wish that people knew certain things about my disease without me having to teach them or without me having to help them understand. Although I love educating others, it begins to feel as though no one around me wants to hear it.

When I have a few bad days, I want to hide. I want to scream at my body. I want to throw it away. I ask myself, “Why? Why did this happen to me?”

But then I stop and remember that it happened to me because I can handle it and because I was meant to teach others about it.

I wish people could see the battle that I am fighting, some days more than others.

I wish people could see the numbers that follow me around all day.

I wish people could feel a high blood sugar.

I wish people could feel a low blood sugar (hypoglycemics don’t count).

SEE ALSO: 15 Different Reactions You Get When You Have Type One Diabetes

I wish people could see me struggling to solve this disease.

I wish people knew that my diabetes is not someone else’s diabetes.

I wish people knew that Type 1 Diabetes is not Type 2 Diabetes.

I wish people knew that thousands of people are struggling with this disease around the world and some of them don’t have the resources to survive.

I wish people knew how invasive this disease is between the finger pricks, the pump sites, the sensor sites and the syringe holes left in my body.

I wish people knew that I can eat that cookie.

I wish people knew that I can eat two cookies if my heart desires it.

I wish people knew that I am constantly thinking about my blood sugar.

I wish people knew that I can’t go anywhere without a glucometer, insulin, and glucose tablets.

I wish people knew that diabetes can cause a lot of other problems in my body.

I wish people knew that this disease isn’t as easy as it looks. It’s more than just pushing buttons and testing my blood sugar.

I wish people knew that I have to consider every single piece of food that goes into my mouth and how it might affect me later.

I wish people knew that diabetes affects my sleep.

I wish people knew that sometimes I don’t feel like fighting my body.

I wish people knew that certain foods can really really hurt me for a few hours.

I wish people knew that my life is a little different than theirs, but that I wear it well.

I wish friends could understand.

I wish family would try harder to.

I wish people knew that my disease is life-threatening and that it usually never leaves my mind, no matter how often I practice yoga or how often I meditate.

I wish people knew that diabetes is just as much mental as it is physical.

I wish people knew that I’m constantly thinking ahead, when all I want to be thinking about is right now.

SEE ALSO: A Letter To Those Who Think Diabetes Is A Joke

I wish people knew that life is so precious to people with diabetes.

I wish people knew that I didn’t do this to myself.

Cover Image Credit: Erika Szumel

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7 Cheap Things You Can Do Right Now To Combat That 7-Letter Word

It's that time of the year ladies and gents.

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The holiday season is ramping up, which also means that tests, projects and cumulative exams are coming at you full speed. Fight the anxiety with these seven cheap and easy ways to de-stress.

1. Paint a wine bottle 

Pinterest is so much fun to try and bring ideas to life. Even if you aren't artistic, you can paint whatever you want, meaning you can make it as ugly or cute as you really want. Plus you have to get an empty wine bottle, so the fun is along the whole process here.

2. Color in a coloring book

Don't want to go out and buy an actual coloring book? Well, there's an app for that. Recolor is a great app that colors in the lines for you, so you don't even have to worry about that. If you want old-fashioned coloring, then there are tons of adult coloring books for you to peruse. It's a distraction from whatever real-life issues are taking up your life in a fun, healthy way.

3. Listen to white noise

It sounds really weird, but if you're stressed, then focusing on just the sound of the white noise can take all of your worries away and help you drift off to sleep. If you're an insomniac like me, then this also works wonders on helping you sleep. There are Spotify playlists for these, and you can find which noises work best for you! Or, you can get a white noise machine if you want to pay a little bit of cash. If you want to save money then you can use a device (i.e. Alexa, Google Home, etc) to play the white noise as well!

4. Watch your favorite TV show

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This one might seem simple, but it can do a lot to take your mind off whatever stressors are bothering you right now. So peruse that Netflix, Hulu, HBOgo, Showtime account — whatever you mooch off your parents', friend's or ex's (do people really still use their ex's Netflix?) streaming service, snuggle up in bed and watch some TV.

5. Do yoga!

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With this one, people are usually super for it or way against it. I get it, I fall over nothing every day and look like a fool. But that doesn't mean that you can't do yoga! Do the easy poses then! It's like a more expansive breathing exercise. Breathing with anxiety is incredibly important, and stretching your body out makes you feel refreshed. Go crazy with the yoga if you want to, or keep it simple.

6. Grounding

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Honestly, I use this technique the most out of anything. There are TONS of different grounding techniques, but my favorite is to ground me to events that are happening in the present, as most of my anxieties deal with the past. For this, you can look at your phone and repeat what the date is out loud (I promise out loud helps more), look at some conversation you just had with a friend about something that happened recently, look at your calendar and keep going over the things that you have to do that day, in the coming week, anything. If you want to, you can call someone you trust and have them describe their day for you so that you can focus on something else rather than your own life and distract yourself that way. Sometimes hyperfocusing on something that you are wearing helps too.

7. Self-care

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Have a self-care night either by yourself or with others, it's up to you and what makes you feel most comfortable. Give yourself a full facial, do the whole shebang — cleanser, toner, face mask, serums, moisturizers — however much or however little as you want. Take that long shower with the burning hot water

If you need something to help calm you down now, think about these, because believe me they help wonders and just become second nature when you need them.

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