Not everyone enjoys being alone. Maybe for a short time frame, but human companionship is commonly desired whether we are prepared to admit it or not.
What's unfortunate is that in order to find that right person, sometimes we go through a series of the wrong people for us. While this happens, it can be hard to see when a relationship isn't right. It's usually when we're blinded by the fear of being alone and getting hurt.
Those signs of something not working out, whether big or small, might leave a person confused. Ultimately, it's up to you on if you're able to look past it, or see it as something that would hinder the relationship from moving forward.
Not everyone's "wrong guy" (or girl) will be the same, and there are so many different reasons why it just won't work. Sacrifices, compromises, goals and those are only some of the key factors.
How much time are you both giving each other? If it isn't balanced or agreed upon, arguments are more than likely to stem from it. For example, partners can be at different places in life where their focus and priorities are different. One may want to progress forward in the relationship while the other wants to move up in their career.
Another big thing is the level of affection. We all have different ways of showing we care: acts of service, affection or big gestures, just to name a few.
You might be the type of person who loves to cuddle, be intimate and show PDA, but your partner may be more reserved about those things. Or vice versa.
In a personal example, I dated a guy for three months who admitted in the beginning to not being very affectionate or romantic. I figured I would be okay with it, but it turns out I craved it a lot more than I thought I would. This was mostly because I enjoyed being close and affectionate, and doing romantic gestures was a part of expressing my interest. I planned some pretty bad-ass dates, and for those not to be reciprocated... it was pretty awful. Though details aren't important anymore.
On the other hand, I've also dated a guy who wanted a lot more of my attention than I could give as someone who works two jobs and attends school full time. I could not give him what he desired of me.
So then, what is it like to date the wrong person?
It's knowing in the back of your head that it isn't working out, but wanting to stick it out due not wanting to be alone.
That was me for three months with the guy who didn't treat me as I deserved. His lack of affection turned out to be him being a jerk. He slowly became more judgmental of every thing I did, made fun of my flaws and mistakes, and sure enough, I became insecure.
I knew that I expected more from a relationship, but the thought of not being with someone clouded my judgment. I enjoyed his company about 50 percent of the time, so maybe it was best that I just left it when I did.
Turns out, one could get treated better and there's no reason to settle just because of the loneliness factor. I felt more alone with him than I did on my own. That should have been the first clue.
Also, after a week of not talking, if the first thing they ask you is if you changed your Netflix password, then that's also a red flag.
Arguments were never a problem there, but when there are constant arguments and no resolutions being made, perhaps it's also time to rethink why you'd stay together. Especially when it's fighting over the same thing every single time.
Relationships take two people. So, if working on it is only one-sided, then how much is it worth your time?
Communication is extremely important as well. Have those conversations instead of arguments. What can be done to make you both happy? Staying together through it all, or separating and finding someone better suited for you both?
Whatever it is, don't keep dating the "wrong" person for the sake of not wanting to be alone. It'll just hurt you more in the long run and you could be missing out on something incredible.
