To the girls that are sensitive to everything, I wish I could tell you it gets better.. It seems like not very many people understand you. Most call you "dramatic", or that you "wear your heart on your sleeve" and you feel like if you just didn't care things would be a lot easier for you. Which may or may not be true. You have moments where you're over it and then you have others where you cry on the bathroom floor wondering why you aren't good enough. Some say you're too sensitive, but the truth is you just feel too much. Every word, every action, and every energy goes straight to your heart.

Being a highly sensitive person has its disadvantages. Growing up I always wanted to make my parents happy and proud, and I never wanted to disappoint them. But there were times where my parents did get upset with me and disappointed in some of my actions. Just by them having a one-on-one discussion with me was more of a punishment rather than having a privilege taken away. Just having the words, "We are disappointed in you," come from their mouths, hurt me more than anything. I am a people pleaser, I do not like confrontation with the ones I love and care for so deeply. I'm known as a peace keeper to most, at least I try to be. I tried to be everyone's friend, no matter who they were, no matter what they looked like, their race, or personality. There were not very many people I didn't get along with. I had the mentality that if you wanted to be my friend, then I’m your friend. Believe it or not, close friends of mine resented me for it. My freshman year of high school, I was looked down upon because I did not exclude a certain class of individuals that my "friends" wanted me to. So in return, they excluded me. I was never the judgmental type, I never cared about your past or your mistakes. I wanted to love everyone, because I knew what it was like to go without.

Now that I am older, yes I am still the same, but it I don't let it affect me as much. I have learned now to stand up for myself and not let anyone walk all over me. It seems like my biggest problem now, is the ability to “let go”. When I get close with someone, I become attached (for lack of better term). I put all of my trust and my heart in you. You can do me so wrong, and I will still believe that wasn’t your intentions. I forgive people that most think don’t deserve to be forgiven. I look for the good in everyone, I feel like I can “fix” them. Most of the time, it ends up hurting me more than anything. My close friends and family always tell me, “Sam you just love people too much, your heart is too pure to have these people constantly hurting you all the time”. Do I listen? No. Because I’m hard-headed. I constantly forgive others, just for them to turn around and do it again. You can call me and I’ll still be there, because that’s the kind of person I am.

I don’t like being sensitive, I don’t like being able to detect the slightest change in the way people act towards me, or talk to me, or look at me. I don’t like overthinking about something to the point where I stay up all night. I don’t like when I can feel someone slowly losing interest in me. I don’t like being walked all over, or taken advantage of. I don’t like crying or being upset over people that couldn’t give two shits about me. I don’t like giving my all to someone to the point where it makes me mentally exhausted.

But you know what? Me saying these things, will not change me or the heart God has blessed me with. And yes, I did mean to say BLESSED. Because regardless of all the disadvantages that come with having a sensitive heart, I wouldn’t change it, even if I was given the opportunity. You see, I would rather have an over caring heart, than a hateful one. I would rather have people hurt me while I love them, than me be responsible for someone else’s hurt or pain. We just have to remember that in light of dark times, our hearts are the best thing about us. And as long as you stay true to yourself, you will gain the people that are true to you.