“Getting married at 21 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30.”
I’m sure many of us have heard someone spew this sentence at least once in our lives. Regardless of whether you got married young or found true love young, you’re almost guaranteed to hear this phrase, usually multiple times. Reading articles, hearing stories and witnessing first-hand this pessimistic view of relationships among millennials is certainly disheartening.
Why are we suddenly lowering our standards? Someone who replies to your texts or calls isn’t doing anything worth praise. Finding someone who respects you and builds you up isn’t a “miracle find”. These are the traits of a decent human being. When did we become so self-loathing that any sign of affection is considered a godly act?
Being a part of the generation labeled “The Hook Up Culture” is arguably one of the most destructive things you can label a group of adults just trying to find our way in the world. It implies that we should lower our standards and shouldn’t expect to be anything more than a hook up from someone.
As an individual who is at a relatively young age in what I would consider a serious, long-term relationship, with a respectful partner who moves forward with me instead of holding me back, I find this label to be damaging. Do I know everything about relationships? Absolutely not. But I do know how I deserve to be treated. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of relationships where i was treated poorly and allowed myself to be taken advantage of.
It is completely disheartening to me that we’ve accepted our self worth as nothing more than the casual hook up.
If casual hook ups are your thing and something you enjoy, more power to you! However, more often than not, I’ve spent a few Friday nights sitting on a couch with my girlfriends listening to how they got their heartbroken. Again.
Why are we all so afraid of commitment? Why are we all so afraid of falling madly, deeply in love with another soul? Why should I be made to feel like I’m missing out of life because I found the person I’d like to spend the rest of my life with at a young age?
Being in a serious relationship at a young age has left me isolated from friends, single friends mostly, who don’t always understand that going out to parties is no longer appealing to me. Netflix, pizza, my dog and my boyfriend sounds like the absolute best Friday night to me. I’m considered an “outcast” in my own generation simply because getting drunk with strangers isn't fun to me anymore.
Making memories that I can remember the next day is what I live for.
Coming home every night to someone who loves me unconditionally is a feeling I couldn’t even begin to explain. Being shamed for falling in love is a common trait for those in relationships. I wouldn’t trade one night in with my significant other for a million nights out with anyone else.
So yeah, getting married at 21 is like leaving a party at 9:30. But its leaving the party with your best friend to come home and order pizza and eating it in bed in nothing but underwear, and not regretting a single second of it.
