Having trouble deciding on a major? Look no further. If you like writing a never-ending barrage of papers, reading hundreds of pages a week, and hearing tons of jokes about your career path, English is the major for you! You’ll gain tons of muscle from carrying around those heavy anthologies and you’ll have an endless knowledge of literary references that most non-English majors won’t understand. Trust me, it’s worth it. If you’re seriously considering becoming an English major, here are some things to expect:
1. Everyone will ask you if you want to be a teacher.
And it will get very annoying, especially if they ask you in the same sarcastic tone every time. Most people think that that’s literally the only thing you can do with an English degree. What’s wrong with wanting to be a teacher? If anything, these people should inspire you to be the best damn teacher you can be. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll be teaching the children of the people that asked you about your career choice.
2. You’ll try to find symbolism and deeper meanings in everything you read.
Expect to stare at a somewhat cryptic text for 15+ minutes, but understand that it’s not really cryptic at all. You’re just convinced that there’s something more to what they’re saying. If you text your friend and ask them where they want to go out to eat and they reply with “It doesn’t matter to me. You can pick.” Does it not matter because they secretly don’t want to go out with you? Do you matter to them? Do they care at all? What influenced them to respond like this? Don’t read too much into it. You’re just unconsciously using the skills you’ve learned in all of your literature survey classes. This isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not really a good thing either…
3. Non-English majors will not share your excitement when it comes to what you’re reading.
They’ll ask “You have to read 100 pages of something someone wrote 100 years ago? That sounds horrible.” And you’ll be all like, “Hell yeah I do!” And then you might get a bit discouraged when you try to explain the plot of the story that they have little to no reaction to. Chances are they won’t see the irony in Twain’s “The War Prayer” or the humor in Jane Austen’s “Love and Friendship,” but all that matters is that you find them enjoyable. Remember that.
4. You’ll come across English majors that really shouldn’t be English majors.
This is probably the most irritating thing I’ve ever encountered. People that complain about the amount they have to read or the "boring" classes they’re taking. If you really don’t like it that much, then you should reconsider your choice in major. Don’t like writing all these reader’s responses or close readings? Change. Your. Major. Please. It’s hard to sympathize with these people when you have the same amount of work but you actually enjoy doing it.
If what you just read scared you, then you might want to rethink your choice. If what you just read made you super excited with your choice, then let's do this thing! You won't be disappointed!
