I get asked all the time, “So what’s it like dating a black guy?” as if he’s some foreign species that no one has ever dared to go near, nevertheless date. And I respond with the same answer every time: “The same thing as dating a white guy, only better.” Now, I don’t say this to bash white men or people dating white men because up until my current boyfriend, all three of my boyfriends had been white. What I mean by this, is simply that it’s been better for me.
I’ve always been a pretty close-minded person. I had my own opinions and they weren’t going to change. Once I made my mind up, that was the end of it. I was very stuck in my daily routine and have never been one who really welcomes change. So granted going from my predominately upper middle class white high school, to a college where over half the student body was made up of minorities was a bit of a culture shock. I never in a million years imagined myself falling for a black man, nevertheless making the first move to talk to this black man. But I am so thankful that I did.
It definitely hasn’t been the easiest journey but I have learned more about how to deal with judgment, controversy, and accepting others during the past seven months, than any other time in my life. I have gradually gotten used to the dirty looks we get when we go out in public and I have slowly begun to realize others opinions do not matter. I have taught my family that just because his skin color is different than ours doesn’t mean he’s not the same on the inside. I have learned that you definitely can’t judge someone on their appearance without getting to know them first. I have learned that every person has been through different obstacles in their lives, so everyone is going to have different views and that is okay. I have learned to accept people regardless if they have the same upbringing as me or not.
So believe me when I say that love has no race. There is no “right” couple because every love is different and if you find that your love is with someone of a different race than you embrace it and see what you can learn from it. Not to say that it will always be easy, but it will be worth it.
So what is it like to be the white girl dating the black guy? It’s like waking up every day knowing that you have someone waiting to hear your voice. Like being happier than you’ve ever been in your entire life. Like knowing you have someone that loves you flawlessly. Like becoming so much more aware of others you wouldn’t normally associate with. Like learning to see the world from a different perspective than the one you’ve been subject to your entire life. Like finally knowing what true love feels like.
