This week is spring break and for the first time in my college career I will not be sitting on my couch at home binge watching Netflix. This year I am spending my week in Myrtle Beach, far, far away from New England. As my friend and I have been planning out our trip, though, I've noticed the extreme caution we have taken in making sure we don't end up in a dangerous situation. From the minute we started looking at places to stay to figuring out how we were going to get down there, every step has been planned knowing we are two young women traveling alone to a place we've never been before.
When we first started looking for a place to stay, we went straight to the reviews to scope out other peoples' experiences and avoided anything with a low rating or questionable pictures. When we realized we were going to have to drive straight through the night, we knew we couldn't sleep in shifts because one of us had to control the navigation so we didn't get lost while the other drove. Stopping for bathroom and coffee breaks in the middle of the night would be intimidating. We would have to park close to the building in a well lit area and keep our pepper spray in our hands at all times. When we found out we had guy friends who were also going to be there for the week, we were relieved knowing we wouldn't be alone.
Woman are constantly aware of the way their gender forms social situations around them. On a daily basis, we are subjected to benevolent sexism, which is a way to uphold the subordination of women through positive attributes such as supportive, loving, and patient. While these are nice traits to be associated with, they also portray women as weaker than men because they put us in a supportive position rather than an equal one. The danger comes in, however, when benevolent sexism turns into hostile sexism, which is a forceful way to reinforce the subordination of women through negative stereotypes and violent threats. Say a woman is walking down the street and she ignores the catcalls of a man walking past her. If he were to turn around and harass her and threaten her for not responding to him the way he wanted her to, this would be hostile sexism.
These are very real situations that plague women's minds as they're walking alone at night. Even on campus, when I'm walking alone in the evening, I have my pepper spray in one hand and my keys in between my knuckles in the other. I even avoid listening to music so I'm aware of who is around me at all times.
This issue has been addressed time and time again, but I'm not sure it's being addressed in an appropriate way. We shouldn't be telling women they can't dress a certain way (because it happens no matter what you're wearing) and we shouldn't be making this a one sided conversation directed at women. I know colleges make freshman attend a sexual assault presentation as a part of orientation. I went to one, but I didn't leave feeling safer. I, like everyone else, didn't take it seriously because it was presented as a skit. It was in no way a serious presentation. I would also like to note that this presentation only became mandatory as of fall semester 2015, which is a little late on the uptake.
A few weeks ago, I attended a lecture given by Dr. Michael Kimmel called "Man Up." Dr. Kimmel is a sociologist who specializes in gender studies. The lecture was not recorded but he has given a similar TEDTalk. What Dr. Kimmel talks about is how creating a gender equal world benefits everyone, including men. He talks about the moment he became aware of gender and experiences he has had as a privileged, middle-class, white man, but the main focus of the lecture was about all the ways men can benefit from gender equality.
I thought the lecture was really great and he brought up excellent points, but he was speaking to a crowd of students who were already aware and understood these issues. All the people in the room, including myself, were sociology or women's studies majors/minors or people who have taken those classes. If you look at the crowd of people in the TEDTalk, you can see a majority of them are women. At the lecture I attended, the crowd was split pretty evenly between men and women, which was great. There is definitely a greater awareness of gender inequalities among my generation and a greater aspiration to fix it, but the people this lecture was intended for were not present.
How are we going to spread this message and this information to people if they don't show up? How can we make students take these issues more seriously? Until we can achieve universal awareness and acceptance of a culture that views men and women equally, women will have to continue taking extra precautions to protect themselves from hostile sexism. Let's be real though, this kind of achievement is going to be a long, upward battle, especially because there are some people out there who adamantly deny that gender inequality exists. I have seen many arguments on how the gender pay gap is a mythical idea.
So, while I will thoroughly enjoy my vacation this week, my thoughts concerning my gender will be at the forefront of my mind even more so because I will be in a much more vulnerable position than I normally would be.
To everyone traveling this spring break season, be careful but have fun!
