Fair Warning: It SUCKS.
"You is kind, you is smart, you is important" These are the words you repeat to yourself every day in the mirror ever since seeing The Help. Viola Davis' words changed your life. When you moved away to college, you added a fourth statement "You is independent." You said this until you believed it, and it's true. You can feed yourself, shower, clean your room, do your laundry, make yourself go to class, and do your homework all by yourself. You don't need any help. and if you fail, it's on you. You are your own person, you control your own life. Until you look at your bank account. Whatever your situation, whether you work and go to school or full time student or whatever, your banking app is a dangerous zone on your phone. Here is where you struggle. Here is where you have issues. Here you stay away from the app or website as much as you possibly can.
These are the struggles you have of being independent yet financially dependent on your parents
1. "Wanna go out tonight?"
This question is the devil.
"How much money do I have left? Will I have enough to cover what we do? Is it rude to cancel or ask if we can do something free? WHAT DO I DO????"
But what you really say is
And then you pray.
2. Checking your bank account is worse than a horror movie
You'd rather go to a demon-possessed house with Freddie Kruger and a bunch of zombies than logging on to your bank account. Nevertheless, you shakily type in your username and password and squeeze your eyes shut. What happens next can go one of two ways.
2a. You actually have money
"What? I have $50? Where'd that come from?" You break into a happy dance, then remember that you need money later in the week. We'll get to that in a second.
2b. Your account has a decimal or a negative line
"-0.23 cents?! What did I spend money on?!" you scroll through your recent transactions, praying that there was a mistake. Immediate regret of that Taco Bell or Starbucks run will seep into your mind
Both of these options, you still do this next one
Whether you plan your "mom dad I need money" speech or your entire week, you still start reeling in the ideas of what you're going to do
4. Random thoughts
"Is it REALLY that bad to be a stripper? How much money could I get for my kidney? What in my possessions can I sell to make a quick buck? How much do you get for donating plasma?"
5. You've decided to break down and call in the backup
*Sigh* you slowly pull out your phone and dial your mom's number. (mom is nicer than dad usually)
6. While the phone rings, you prepare your speech
"Mom, I need to borrow money" Nah, that's too professional
"Mommy, I need help" Add some fake tears, that might help
"Your call has been forwarded to an automated voicemail box-"
7. Work up the nerve to call dad
What's the worst he's going to do? Say no?
7a. While the phone rings, practice your other speech
"Daddy, can I please borrow some money?" Brace yourself. Add some fake pouts
"Hello? Hi sweetie. What? You need money?" *SIGH* "Honey, I can't. (Insert reason here)"
8. Get mad, try not to cry, quickly get off the phone so you can cry alone in peace
"Yeah dad, I understand. No, I'm not mad. Love you too." *Click* *Sigh*
9. Contemplate every financial decision you've ever made
"It's because I used my allowance to buy that Malibu Barbie when I was ten, isn't it?"
10. Accept your broke-ness and offer to host a movie night in your dorm.
But before your friends arrive, you stand in your bathroom mirror and stare at yourself
"you is kind, you is smart, you is important. and you is independent."