I've been called many things from classmates, parents and friends growing up. Large, chunky, chubby, "pleasantly plump," fat. I eventually began calling myself such names. I've gotten a little past the names and slowly have begun loving myself. One way that I gained respect and a sense of self-worth was going to the gym. It wasn't easy and those names easily pop into my head on the worst days. It's not always easy but here's how I manage to survive the gym.
It was so hard at first. I don't look like I belong there, or know what I'm doing, which isn't completely wrong, but I still forced myself to go. I changed my clothes, pulled my hair up, filled my water bottle, and marched my way through the doors. There are days that it's still extremely hard for me to get the motivation to walk through and carry on though I can feel people's weighing glances and know what they are thinking. And I know because I tell myself the same things. I see what they see when I look in the mirror. Going to the gym four to five days a week is great. You feel great after and sometimes have fun.
To the gym-goer that feels out of place,
You do you. Despite what others may be thinking, you are at the gym for a reason. You are bettering yourself and getting into shape and changing your health and lifestyle. It may be hard at first, between feeling uncomfortable or not having enough knowledge but that’s okay. Find a friend that you also feel comfortable going with and maybe can show you some new things, or just ask for help. There are trainers available to help the people that don’t exactly know that they are doing.
Try to keep your head high. I tell myself this and it’s still difficult sometimes. My motivation walking in is high and I’m excited for my workout. Then as soon as I see someone more attractive for better looking than me it sometimes goes out the window, and I just want my exercise to be over so I can go hide again. Other times I couldn’t care less about what others think. They can look at me and snicker all they want, I am here for me and that’s all that matters.
Keep up the good work. Cut away the looks that others are giving you and focus on your progress. Someday they will notice the change in you. Whether you just seem happier or look different, things will change. Don’t be afraid to switch up your routine. Find multiple things that work for you so you’re not constantly doing the same thing. Try classes, though at first they are intimidating, they end up being really fun and everyone is there for the same reason, insecurities and fears will dim away and you will have a mutual bond with these people.
There will always be days thrown in when your insecurities are stronger than usual and you’ll want to skip the gym. Don't! You will only feel regret and be mad at yourself. You’ll feel much better after working your butt off like any other day. You need and want the endorphins that exercising releases so don’t skip that day unless you absolutely need to. Keep up the bravery and make the changes you are striving to see. Again, it is always okay to ask for help. And don't be too hard on yourself, you're amazing and strong and with succeed.
