I'm going to start this out by saying I'm not the "I only hang out with guys because girls are too much drama" kind of girls. I love my girlfriends; I am just simply terrible at being a girl. I rarely wear makeup or anything other than gym shorts and a T-shirt. I also love cracking open a cold one with the boys and stuffing my face with all things greasy, probably messy, and definitely unhealthy. Not that you have to be a guy to do that because like I said, I do have a handful of girlfriends, and they're all the same way.

The worst part about being pretty much one of the guys is that you're still very much a girl. I still long to have someone to be emotional over nothing with; someone who isn't going to think I'm psychotic. Most times, a guy just doesn't cut it in that aspect. They're just not wired that way.

It gets frustrating sometimes. It feels as if there's no one to really talk to at 3 a.m. when your boyfriend is sleeping on the couch because of a stupid fight between the two of you. It feels like you have no one to relate when it's the middle of the day, and you just feel really bad about yourself. It feels like you're going crazy when you've bottled up all of your emotions then start crying over a spilled Parker's drink. It gets lonely.

I find myself longing for a girlfriend a lot. I want someone that I can be a girl with; I want to get all dolled up just to stay in and repeat a cycle of laughing, crying, and talking crap. I want to go shopping or have a girl's night. I want someone I can tell every little stupid, petty, emotional part of my life to without feeling like, well, too much of a girl.

I don't think I'd have it any other way though. I have never felt more comfortable around a group of friends as I have around my guys. They're my family, and they've always treated me as such. They've always been there when I really needed someone. Even if they don't say anything, they've always been there to throw back a couple shots with me and listen to me blubber on about whatever or to just give me a hug when I'm really losing it.

Maybe I'm not meant to be one of the girls, and I'm starting to be okay with that. I have some of the best friends I could ask for as it is. I may not be able to a total girl, but I don't know if I even know how to anymore; plus, it just seems like way too much work when you really think about it.