I felt like I was the only one. My friends spoke about how their parents taught them how to fill out their FAFSA or how to answer difficult questions on an application to their dream school. Others told them to at least apply to their alma mater.
I felt like an absolute outsider. Going to college terrified me, what was it like? What did I need and where was I going to do my laundry and eat food? I felt alone with nobody to answer my questions.
In the last few weeks leading up to my move-in day, I did the best I could to prepare and I try to feel ready to start living two hours away from my home. But there was still so much pressure. Was I going to succeed? How hard were my classes going to be? I remembered people saying in finals weeks you don't sleep and how you stay up every night until three A.M. and ramen noodles quickly become your only meals.That did not sound appealing to me, I hate ramen noodles. I did not want to let the people down who helped me to be able to attend such an amazing university, so I couldn't let ramen noodles hold me back.
Essentially, college is like a jungle when you first arrive.You can literally spend your entire freshman year finding new places and new people every day. Everything is exciting and new. It gave me the opportunity to forget just how scared I was just for a little.
My school hosted an activities fair one evening to meet organizations and clubs to join and potentially make lifelong friends in. Not only is it a great way to find organizations I wanted to belong to, but I also got to bond with my floormates. I happened to find an organization solely for first-generation college students. This was pure gold for me and made me feel like I wasn't completely alone.
Being a first-generation college student put so much pressure on me. I wanted to do good for my mom, I wanted to make her proud of me. Numerous people had helped me get to the point I was at, and I wanted to show them I could follow through with good grades and still have enjoyed my time at school. I wanted to make every effort I could to show those who supported me that I would not let them down.
Now, I have finished my first semester and I am about to begin my second. I had many questions about school and how to tackle finals or what to do when I'm sick or alone. But somehow I made it out. Being a first-generation college student was not a disadvantage, it only motivated me to do better, to be better. I constantly reminded myself that I was meant to be here for a reason and I couldn't let my tiredness overcome my need to study for an exam I had the next day. So far, being the first in family has taught me a lot. I will never give up on something even if the other people around me have an advantage. Finishing college is my dream, and nothing will ever come between myself and the drive I have to follow my dreams.
