What It Really Means To "Find Your People"

When reflecting back on my freshman year at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, with all the challenges that coincide with adjusting to a completely new and unfamiliar environment, while simultaneously trying to find my place amongst a ton of other freshmen, older individuals would constantly reassure me that I would be better adapted with time, and eventually "find my people." I notice that for many individuals I spoke to, finding their people connotated a different meaning than my own present-day beliefs on this vague, faulty term. For some, "finding your people," means discovering individuals they feel the most similar to; for instance, discovering people with similar backgrounds, common interests, and viewpoints. Although this term could certainly be deciphered in this way, and by no means do I think it is necessarily an "incorrect" way of thinking, for me this phrase has a disparate message attached to it. In my opinion, it does not necessarily mean finding people with equivalent passions, upbringings, and "particular vibes." To me, it is a bit of a precarious concept that I recommend people avoid abiding by, so they can instead focus on surrounding themselves with people who, more importantly, have similar values. Since coming to this university, I have built friendships that I know will last a lifetime. Although many individuals who I surround myself with have varying backgrounds, hobbies, and fascinations in life, what matters the most to me is that they are loyal, genuine, and have a good- heart. Period, the end. Do I necessarily feel I can only create bonds with those who have similar interests to me? No. Do I always share the same perspectives with my close friends? Absolutely, not. Do I think it is okay to be different to those whom I can depend on and whom lift me up when I am in a shi**y mood, whether it has to do with a bad test grade or just waking up on the wrong side of the bed? Most certainly, yes! So, to all you freshmen out there trying to "find your people," aim to take this expression out of your vocabulary and concentrate on spending time around individuals whom are trustworthy, genuinely care about your happiness, as well as make you laugh. And lastly, remember that quality over quantity counts most.