If you're anything like me, you've always heard your parents or older people that have invested themselves in your life tell you that you need to find a Godly man. My dad always told me when I was growing up:
"Find a guy who loves God more than he loves you, and loves you more than I love you."
While what he said was wise advice, at the time, I just kind of blew it off. I didn't realize the importance of what my dad was telling me and I figured that as long as I found a good guy, that would be enough for me.
Well I'm here to tell you several relationships later, that being a "good guy" doesn't cut it. If you have ever had a relationship where you knew you weren't always being treated the way that you should or been in a relationship in which you couldn't share your faith with your partner, it's okay. Don't feel condemned or ashamed about it, but know that you deserve better. For me, I didn't know what better looked like. So to save you the trouble, I'm going to share with you what I have learned.
Here are 11 traits of a Godly man that you should look for when pursuing a husband.
1. Someone who walks with the Lord.
I know that this first one may sound a bit obvious and redundant, but honestly it is very important. Before we get to any of the other characteristics, the first thing that you're going to want to know is if he walks with the Lord and wants to continue to grow in Him. You want a man who is going to put God first. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Dating someone who isn't a believer can be very hard and painful. As Christian women, we need strong Christian men that we can grow with in our spiritual journeys.
2. A Leader
As women, we want a man who can lead us. Sure we like to act independent and strong, and while those are good qualities to have, the fact of the matter is, when it comes to a relationship our man is supposed to lead us. Find a man whom you can support and encourage while he leads you and your family spiritually with wisdom and ultimately through life.
3. A Gentleman
A Godly man is someone who is going to treat you like the jewel you are. He is polite and respectful to everyone that he encounters. A gentleman is someone who is going to respect you and value you how you deserve. He's going to see your worth and cherish it; he won't take it for granted.
A Godly man is not proud or boastful. Not everyone is perfect, and a Godly man realizes this. He shares his flaws with you so that you will be able to encourage, support, and pray for him. He daily surrenders his pride to the Lord. He doesn't boast about his spiritual knowledge, but instead daily renews his mind and recognizes that he always has more room to grow.
5. Obeys the Word
James 1:23-24 says, “Be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like.”
A Godly man is a man of not only his word, but of the Lord's. He does what he says he is going to do, and is true to keeping vows and promises. He will also obey the Word of the Lord, no matter how difficult the task. He delights himself in the Word of the Lord and diligently meditates and rests in it.
A Godly man is willing to help others. In Proverbs 19:17, Solomon writes, "Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward them for what they have done." A Godly man has a heart for serving others. He uses his gifts, knowledge, and talent to help fill the needs of others, including his wife and family. He realizes that this life is not his own, so he uses it to please the Lord because when we do this to the least of these, we do it to Jesus.(Matthew 25:40)
7. A Man of Prayer
One of the most intimate things that you can do with your partner is to pray over them. A Godly man realizes the importance of prayer not only in his life, but in the lives of his family. He knows that this is a direct way to communicate with Jesus and in doing so, he ultimately knows who is in control of his life. He is a prayer warrior for his family.
8. Takes Action
Ladies, I think that we can all agree when I say that we love to be valued. One way that we're able to receive this feeling is when we have plans made for us. It makes us feel special and thought of when our guy has planned out a special evening for us.
A Godly man is not afraid to take action. Whether it be in what he has planned for you on an afternoon date, in life decisions that will come through marriage, or even in taking steps to do what the Lord has called him to do, he will do the necessary actions in order to achieve the best.
9. Patient and Graceful
A Godly man is patient, especially in the face of difficult situations. He does not fear the unknown, but is willing to take the time to work through every situation. He won't let an argument run him off, and won't let his emotions get the best of him. He waits upon the Lord, and knows that His plan is greater. He is not ill tempered nor does he speak out of emotion. He brings God's goodness into the lives of the undeserving. He has grace because he has been transformed by God's grace.
A Godly man does not hold grudges and will not seek revenge. He is gracefully forgiving and lets go of all feelings of resentment. He knows that he is undeserving of God's forgiveness, so since he has been forgiven, he will forgive others even when they are undeserving.
11. Loves with Agape Love
Agape love is the greek word for "love at its ultimate." This is the love that God has for us and it was displayed at the cross. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "Be imitators…and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."
A Godly man selflessly loves his wife. He uses every opportunity he can to try to imitate this kind of love. He chooses to love no matter what he is feeling; it doesn't matter if he is frustrated, upset, or having a bad day, he chooses to love you regardless. In his love, he chooses to seek the highest good for you. It is a sacrificial love. God designed relationships to be centered on His love, and a Godly man realizes this.
These are just a few characteristics of a Godly man. Know that even Godly men are not perfect, but they will constantly surrender to the Lord in order to be the best that they can be for not only themselves, but for you.
Don't settle for a "good guy" when God intended for you to have a Godly man.