Ever since I was a young girl, I've always surrounded myself with other ethnic kids, from the time spent in nursery school, ballet classes, elementary school, middle school, high school, and even now in my last semester in college. It's never bothered me that in certain situations, I would be either be the only Korean in the group or even the only Asian. It never created controversy within friendships and group settings where I felt uncomfortable. Unfortunately, in situations concerning outside of my friends would I find myself discriminated for my Asian American features.
As a child, the thought of having friends that were majority white-skin never crossed my mind. The fact that I was able to interact with them easily became my only concern. However, after growing in that similar environment where I surrounded myself not only with white-skin friends but with different cultured peoples, I started to question my Asian American identity and if my relationship with that identity really mattered to me.
I was never made fun of for my eyes or for my spoken-home language but that has all changed during my late years in high school. I would find wrong assumptions of how I was as a person due to society's stereotypes of Asians. The label "quiet little Asian girl whose not able to speak English very well so it's inevitable to only have Asian friends and would probably have her future as some sort of marketer or doctor" has stepped into numerous minds and been judged upon me. And those mindsets are incorrect and tend to lead into surprised reactions whenever I tell new companions that I'm actually an English major who finds herself comfortable venturing out into the world and writing about them.
Society had never truly pointed out that being an Asian-American is just as discriminating as being a person of color. It's horrific on how Asian-Americans are being treated because of their lack of understanding or their lack of education in the English language. Also our "submissive" culture that we're specifically known for brings out mistaken conceptions of who we are as individuals which sucks.
At some point of my life, I've always wanted to fit in with some of my blonde hair blue eyed friends. I desired to look and feel accepted by them instead of consistently pushing myself to be in the spotlight rather than being pulled out of it. And till this day I still feel this way as person in her millennials. I feel as if I don't fit in with the rest of society because of my color and my heritage. There are times where I feel as if pushing myself through my writing would show the rest of the stereotypical world that Asian Americans should be looked equally.
I've never been very proud of where my parents originated from or boasted about it towards my friends. The thought of cultural identity never defined my way of how I perceived people as separate beings because it never triggered that part of how I truly saw them. I've learned that identity is an individual portrayal of him or herself with their own original methods of means and never should be looked as a whole with the rest of their race. And even though we live in the 21st century where "equality" has become the hottest topic to talk about, it seems as if that's not even close to it.
