High school is the beginning of the phase of your life when you try to figure out who you really are. There are countless of things that will influence you and the feeling of acceptance is what everyone longs. Whether you can admit it or not, everyone wants to feel like they belong.
For 16-year-old me, it was no different. But it wasn't until I met a certain 20-year-old where everything seemed to change. Not overnight, but as I look back at the past two years, it is crazy to think about the person I was at the start of my relationship and the person I am today.
1. I learned not to care about what people had to say about my relationship.
To this day I still get criticism about my relationship. But unlike two years ago, It doesn't bother me one bit. I was 16-years-old when my boyfriend and I started dating and let me tell you, I fell head over heels for him. Unlike any guy in my high school, I felt like I could be my true self around him and receive zero judgment, which was huge for me. We talked constantly for many late nights and then secretly started dating. It wasn't until I took the bold move of posted an Instagram picture that people knew that I was dating someone. Someone four years older.
At school, I could feel the judgment in peoples voices when asking me about it. I remember one specific time when someone said, "Avery must be insane. Does she not know what a whore she's making herself look like? I don't understand why she can't settle for someone her own age." This was coming from a person that I thought would be supportive but then overheard that made me think. I thought about how my image in my high school will always be, "the whore who can't settle for guys her own age." Not going to lie, it did not put me in a good place. I began to feel upset. Upset for dating someone that made me feel happier than I can ever imagine being. I began losing sight of who I was and was letting my peers define me and my actions.
But then one day, it was like something had clicked in my head. Why should it matter about what other people thought? It was my life, my relationship, and my choice. Why was I letting what people say bring me down about a person who I was falling in love with? After realizing this, I could not care less about what anyone thought. My boyfriend is the greatest light of my life and what anyone would say who go in one ear and out the other. To this day I ignore any comment that questions my choice. It has made me a stronger person and has the healthiest relationship possible.
2. I learned to be more open-minded about things.
Dating someone that isn't in your daily circle can open up a whole world that you would never have known existed. Since my boyfriend didn't go to my high school, he had an entirely different life that I did when I was just living in the same routine. He has opened up my world to new friends, new places, and new ways of living that I would have never had if I wasn't for him.
It also has made me more open-minded to life itself. Growing up I always had a vision of what the world looked like and nothing could change it. I had thoughts about certain things that I thought I would never do or experience. But when I started dating my boyfriend, my opinion on things slowly started to change.
Being open minded lets you learn about so many different things and makes you become less judgmental. You start to be more accepting of things and find stuff that you find a new found love for.
3. I learned to be genuinely happy.
Happiness is something that I personally believe can't be defined. It is something different for all people. For me, I wasn't sure when to feel happy. Don't get me wrong, I have the greatest family and was raised in a very happy household and have the greatest friends in the world, but I still wasn't sure when to feel happy. I always wondered if I what I was feeling was true happiness, while also feeling like I was the only one that felt this way.
A few weeks after my boyfriend and I started dating, I told him all of it. It was burning me instead of what he thought what being happy was like. And to my surprise, he was accepting of my thought and completely agreed with me. Something that I thought would never happen. And from that moment on, I felt happier that I have ever felt before.
Happiness to me now is something personal that brings you internal joy. You feel good about yourself and the way you are living. These past two years have been nothing but a wave of happiness that repeats itself over and over again. Any relationship will come with it's hard times where you think it's hopeless, but in the end, the love between you two will overcome.
I couldn't be more content with my boyfriend. He is my best friend in the entire world and I couldn't imagine my life without him. As much as I hate to admit it, he is the greatest human being that I have ever come in contact with. I could never ever thank you enough for all of the love and happiness you give me.
Thank you.
