Is there ever going to be a specific age or time that I transition into adulthood?

The law says I became an adult when I turned 18, even though at the time I didn’t really feel that I had changed all that much. I was 17 one day, then the next I was 18 and nothing monumental happened. I blew out my candles, made the same wish I’ve been making since I was twelve and ate a piece (or three but really, who was counting) of cake.

I think my parents resented the legal age; I turned 18 at the beginning of my senior year of high school and I never failed to use the “I’m an adult now, I can make my own choices” line whenever I started to feel that I was losing an argument with them. Of course they always responded with “our house, our rules” and instantly shut down my mini-rebellion with minimal bitterness from me. I knew I couldn’t do anything more than grumble to myself about it because I was completely dependent on my parents. Don’t get me wrong––I am incredibly grateful for the love I have been shown and the life my parents have given me. I am more than blessed—some would probably say spoiled. Which is most likely true, and so I can’t shake this feeling that I'm unprepared. It’s as if I’m about to take the most humongous test of my life at any moment, one that I haven’t even started to study for.

I always thought that one day I would wake up and find that adulthood had seeped into my body overnight. Suddenly, I would actually enjoy drinking coffee and finally feel confident walking around in high heels. Getting out of bed on time each morning? Easy as pie. Doing my makeup and hair every day? Not a problem. Paying the bills monthly with my steady income? I totally got this. Keeping my life, my sanity and my appearance all put together? Piece of cake. I thought I would be the greatest adult. I would go to work every day, well-rested and clean, ready to take on whatever the world threw at me.

Naturally, that all sounds great in theory and well, I tend to romanticize reality. Currently, I am 20 years old, turning 21 this November and I find myself saying too frequently, “I need a more adult adult” or “I need someone who has been doing this grown-up thing for much longer than I have.” I don’t know how to file my taxes, I have not even the slightest clue how to change the oil in my car and when it comes to figuring out how insurance works, I am 100 percent useless. I do not admit these things proudly, let me tell you. I am deeply embarrassed, ashamed even, about all of the things I don’t know how to do. In my mind, being incapable of doing something on my own is worse than forgetting to wear pants to class. If anyone asked me in person if I knew how to file my taxes or change the oil in my car, I would most likely lie through my teeth and say, “Yes, of course. Hello, duh, I’m an adult. An amazing adult. The greatest adult. You think they’d let me be an adult if I couldn’t do those things? Adults know exactly where to change the oil and file the taxes. Which is me, an adult (insert nervous laughter here). The adult-est!!”

My mom used to say that these would be things I would learn as I got older and yet here I am, older, and still unaware of how a mortgage works. Are they the type of things that you learn through experience, like when you push someone into a pool so that their instincts guide them on how to swim? Or do I have to go to some sort of class offered at the local community center? I could ask my parents, but I think that defeats the purpose of being on my own and figuring out how life works for myself.

So, in a grand attempt to finally, or at least to help, bridge the gap between my adolescence and my adulthood, here is a list of goals I want to and will do my very best to accomplish before I turn 21:

1. Figure out insurance––auto, health, life and whatever other kinds are out there.

I have been trying to piece this puzzle together since I took a business class my junior year of high school. It was also during this class that I realized I was severely underprepared for the real world.

2. Gain a basic knowledge of how car engines work.

Or at least learn how to change the oil in my own car. Baby steps.

3. Find out how the process of filing taxes works.

I know, I know: I really need to get this one down.

4. Acquire my first credit card.

And get over my fear of having actual credit.

5. Learn how mortgages and escrow and everything that goes along with buying a house works.

Actually, I should probably first learn how to rent an apartment. That would be smart––and figure out how to buy, or more realistically, lease a car for my very own big girl self.

6. Learn how to open my own bank account separate from my parents ...

... but not actually do it since, let’s be real, I’m not ready to completely cut the umbilical cord just yet.

To the people my age who have already gotten this whole grown-up thing down, I salute you and your bravery. You give me faith and are making our generation much better than people seem to think it is. Continue on in your success and don’t let the monotony get you down.

To the people my age who are in the same boat as I am: We can do this. One step at a time, day by day and with every other supportive, cliché phrase out there that motivates people, we will do it. We will become fantastic adults. Maybe not right away or anytime soon, but it will happen. I can feel it.