I wrote recently on having a daughter, and it was easy, considering I am someone's daughter and I know the struggles girls face on an everyday basis. I’ve lived through the gossip and the drama, the sexism and everything else while being a girl, so having one probably wont be easy—especially if she’s half as dramatic as I am, but I will most likely understand what she is going through. Having a son on the other hand makes my palms sweat.
Boys are unpredictable. They bounce around a lot - more than I think I'll ever be ready to handle. I grew up with a brother who loved to pick me up by my ponytail and carry me around when he could, wrestle me, eat my popsicles and hit me with objects just to hear the sound it would make upon impact (all out of love of course). So when it comes to having a son, to understanding one and relating to a little boy, he'll be living a life I never experienced as the world labels and relates to him. He'll be in categories I myself have never been put into. I have a little more respect for my mother because I’m pretty proud of the way my brother turned out.
There are plenty of things I already know I will teach my son if I am destined to have one. If one day my life turns into baby blue blankets, toy cars, fast feet, little plush frogs and any other toys he chooses to play with, I will have a few plans already made. I will teach my son that women are not toys, that he can’t throw away and pick up new ones and hurt anyone in his way when he feels like it. I did not bring him into this world to disrespect anyone and I will not allow it.
I will teach my son to cook, to clean and also do yard work. He will do “men’s jobs” and “women’s jobs” -- he can learn the “dog's job” if I deem it necessary, and he will learn that these titles are about as useless as the titles of chapters in a book no one ever reads. I will tell him not to be mean, that girls like jerks only while they’re young and he can be a guy that girls can like past their braces phase, and the cheerleading phase and every other childish thing they will go through. Being mean is a child’s sport and loving is what we should all aim to do.
I will teach my son that the world is harsh, and that he will see things and do things that he does not want to. One day he might look at himself in the mirror and not want to meet the man who resides within. People will hurt him and things won't go his way, and it's okay to be upset about all of that, to ache, to cry. To not know how to pick himself up off the bathroom floor and there is nothing “girly” about that because when he does get off that floor, it will show the world his strength. Strength is something everyone should have.
I will tell him that being a boy doesn’t have to mean not having feelings. There is no guide book, there is no how to be a boy and how to be a girl -- there are no rules. He can be whoever he wants to be as long as he spreads love and does good and becomes a man he wants to see himself be, and a man that can look me in the eyes and that we can both be proud of.
