We've all seen this on the TVs. Little ol' Johnny Whatshisface is talking to Dumpy the elephant and we all say to ourselves, "man would't that be a-hoot-and-a-half if animals could really talk?" But is this the reality that all of us live in day-to-day? Would we make friends with animals if they could speak our language? Or would we fear the animals we once loved? Imagine an animal that could talk AND they had opposable thumbs, what would set them apart from you and I? This is a recipe for disaster. Or is it?
Imagine you just adopted a new pet. Her name is Kat, the ironic part is that she is not a cat, but a dog. You go to bed that night feeling clever as hell knowing damn well that Kat is not a cat but a dog. Kat jumps on your chest and shouts, "Butter my britches! You are the most brilliant human I have ever met, and I have met many." You in turn shout, "OH MY GOD YOU CAN TALK!" as most would in this situation. Rather than being a rational human and returning your devil dog to the shelter, you decide to hangout with Kat. You find out Kat is pretty cool. She likes the Atlanta Braves and smokes pot on the weekends.
This friendly encounter is just the beginning. Soon these animals will be applying for jobs and taking them for people who really don't want to do them. Our new society will be spiraling out of control and we as the human race will rise up against these rather friendly and harmless animals. Once the revolution has begun, we will look back at the years of oppression we have put these other living beings through and wonder if it was really necessary or worth it.
If we look at Darwin's model for human evolution, we find out that we actually evolved from primates. Sorry America, we are all animals.
Stay woke.
