I grew up looking up to my parents. The way they love each other is the way I want to feel with that significant other when I get older. I admire them for never stopping to show and remind each other that they love each other immensely. They have been married for nearly 21 years now, and it seems as if they they just started dating yesterday. My mother would wake up with my father every morning when he goes to work. She would be up to greet him when he comes home. They are there for each other rain or shine.
But of course, they have their flaws.
When I was little, I did not notice much of the obstacles my parents go through within their relationships, but now as I am older and having a relationship of my own, seeing my parents fight and argue is painful. As a child, I did not have a say on the minor arguments they had, but now at 19, I realize my parents are not as perfect of the dream couple as I have envisioned. But that does not stop me from thinking that they are amazing as husband and wife.
Witnessing all the struggles my parents went through lately, and the long hours of phone calls from my mother and father, I have learn a few things from them:
Communication. Most of us have heard this many times before, but I never realize how important communication is within a relationship until my parents repeatedly argued over the same topic again and again. After every misunderstanding, my parents tend to apologize for about five minutes and move on with their every day lives. It was not always like this. Not too long ago, my parents would always talk about what bothers them in order to be the better versions of themselves, but for each other. Nowadays, maybe it is due to all the stress of putting a kid through college that my parents do not concentrate on themselves and their marriage as much. With the constant amount of bills that must be paid, there seems to be no chance of them being able to sit down and talk things out, which brings me to my next point...
Take a step back. No matter how busy you are, do not forget about that person you fell in love with in the first place. No matter how many harsh things my parents have said to each other out of anger, at the end of the day, they still look into each other's eyes lovingly. As stressed out as things can be, a relationship is not easy, especially a marriage, therefore be patient and work things out with each other.
Watch what you say. In the midst of anger, few hurtful words and statements are said. This should be avoided. The person that you are getting angry at is someone you love dearly. Although you might make it afterwards, those words have been heard and will not just disappear from the other person's mind. My mother tends to have a short temper, therefore, she jumps to conclusion quite often. With my dad, he is very patient, but when too much pressure is put on him, he begins to lose his patience. So during arguments, they say mean things to each other to only regret at the end of the fight.
It is not always flowers and sunshine when you are together with another person. There will be cloudy and rainy days. But if you can get through that together, your relationship will gain strength. Always communicate with each other. Some things will be said that will offend the other person, but do not be too defensive towards criticism. If the person truly love you, sometimes the things that they suggest you should fix will benefit you in the long run. Overall, love the person you are with, and together, grow to be better people so eventually your children can grow up to look up to you.
