The other night I was driving and an old song came on that I used to listen to on repeat after I got my heart broken a few years ago. However, this time while listening to it I didn't feel the hurt like I used to. This time, after a few years have gone by, I realized what my past heartbreak has taught me.
Sometimes people do not have the same intentions as you do. Right from the beginning of a relationship, you have to be assertive and make sure you two are on the same page, to avoid being hurt. I know this can be awkward when you're getting to know someone, but trust me it can save you a lot of time in the long run. It's always important to know you and that person are sharing mutual feelings. Communication is really important in any relationship, really.
Always remember that even if you're being 100% honest with someone, it doesn't always mean they're being 100% honest with you. If someone has lied to you in the past, that is not because of anything you have done. Liars will be liars. People will hide things, manipulate you, and use hurtful words to belittle you. So despite what anyone might say, you most likely did nothing to deserve that. If someone has hurt you in the past, they're most likely just so insecure about themselves that they have to find a way to take out their anger on someone who doesn't deserve it.
You could be the most caring, thoughtful, and kind person and still be cheated on, lied to, and taken advantage of. This shows a lot about that person's character. Not everyone will have the same kind-hearted intentions as you. There's never a way for you to predict that a relationship will go south. In the beginning, you have so much trust and faith in this person and the relationship you hope to have. But your intentions and vision for the future can be completely different from someone else's. Sometimes, you don't learn this until after the relationship ends and you're left being hurt.
The thing I want to stress the most is that this heartbreak will teach you SO much about yourself. Typically, after a heartbreak, you will blame yourself. You ask yourself what you did wrong and what's wrong with yourself that someone didn't want you. We immediately think it's because of us that things went wrong. This is not the truth! Never blame yourself for being too naive or trusting in someone. When you begin a relationship, you always want to have a certain level of openness. There's nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve. But over time, after you've experienced heartbreak, you become closed off and afraid to open up to anyone in fear of being hurt again.
I want to emphasize the fact that we cannot close off our hearts forever. A little amount of apprehensiveness is healthy. However, don't give up on love forever. One day, I have so much faith that you will find someone who won't hurt you. You'll find someone who sees your flaws and loves them. There will be someone who will share the same goals and visions as you. Someone who is your better half, and understands you. This might happen within a week, month, a year... You can never be sure when you'll experience this type of love.
All I can say is that your heartbreak from the past only existed to build you strong enough to find your real and loving relationship. Heartbreak happens; not to tear you down and destroy your outlook on love. You have to be hopeful that there is happiness for you, whether that be in a relationship with family, friends, or a loved one. Finding love may not be your ultimate goal, but believe me, love will find you. Love will find a way into your heart whether that be through your passions or hobbies.
Heartbreak doesn't mean you have to tear yourself apart. It means you find yourself. You learn that you are so strong. You kept pushing through life even when you felt defeated and humiliated. You continued to smile on days where you wanted to stay in bed all day. You kept going, even when people made you feel less about yourself. Heartbreak isn't easy and it's never ideal but it's not avoidable. It just makes us stronger and makes us realize what we deserve. Never stop seeking the love you deserve. No matter how old you are, or where you are in life just remember that love will find you.