All The Things I've Learned Since The Day My Heart Was Broken

All The Things I've Learned Since The Day My Heart Was Broken

The most important thing to remember is to never give up on yourself or the idea of love after you've been hurt.

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The other night I was driving and an old song came on that I used to listen to on repeat after I got my heart broken a few years ago. However, this time while listening to it I didn't feel the hurt like I used to. This time, after a few years have gone by, I realized what my past heartbreak has taught me.

Sometimes people do not have the same intentions as you do. Right from the beginning of a relationship, you have to be assertive and make sure you two are on the same page, to avoid being hurt. I know this can be awkward when you're getting to know someone, but trust me it can save you a lot of time in the long run. It's always important to know you and that person are sharing mutual feelings. Communication is really important in any relationship, really.

Always remember that even if you're being 100% honest with someone, it doesn't always mean they're being 100% honest with you. If someone has lied to you in the past, that is not because of anything you have done. Liars will be liars. People will hide things, manipulate you, and use hurtful words to belittle you. So despite what anyone might say, you most likely did nothing to deserve that. If someone has hurt you in the past, they're most likely just so insecure about themselves that they have to find a way to take out their anger on someone who doesn't deserve it.

You could be the most caring, thoughtful, and kind person and still be cheated on, lied to, and taken advantage of. This shows a lot about that person's character. Not everyone will have the same kind-hearted intentions as you. There's never a way for you to predict that a relationship will go south. In the beginning, you have so much trust and faith in this person and the relationship you hope to have. But your intentions and vision for the future can be completely different from someone else's. Sometimes, you don't learn this until after the relationship ends and you're left being hurt.

The thing I want to stress the most is that this heartbreak will teach you SO much about yourself. Typically, after a heartbreak, you will blame yourself. You ask yourself what you did wrong and what's wrong with yourself that someone didn't want you. We immediately think it's because of us that things went wrong. This is not the truth! Never blame yourself for being too naive or trusting in someone. When you begin a relationship, you always want to have a certain level of openness. There's nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve. But over time, after you've experienced heartbreak, you become closed off and afraid to open up to anyone in fear of being hurt again.

I want to emphasize the fact that we cannot close off our hearts forever. A little amount of apprehensiveness is healthy. However, don't give up on love forever. One day, I have so much faith that you will find someone who won't hurt you. You'll find someone who sees your flaws and loves them. There will be someone who will share the same goals and visions as you. Someone who is your better half, and understands you. This might happen within a week, month, a year... You can never be sure when you'll experience this type of love.

All I can say is that your heartbreak from the past only existed to build you strong enough to find your real and loving relationship. Heartbreak happens; not to tear you down and destroy your outlook on love. You have to be hopeful that there is happiness for you, whether that be in a relationship with family, friends, or a loved one. Finding love may not be your ultimate goal, but believe me, love will find you. Love will find a way into your heart whether that be through your passions or hobbies.

Heartbreak doesn't mean you have to tear yourself apart. It means you find yourself. You learn that you are so strong. You kept pushing through life even when you felt defeated and humiliated. You continued to smile on days where you wanted to stay in bed all day. You kept going, even when people made you feel less about yourself. Heartbreak isn't easy and it's never ideal but it's not avoidable. It just makes us stronger and makes us realize what we deserve. Never stop seeking the love you deserve. No matter how old you are, or where you are in life just remember that love will find you.

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.

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It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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