All The Things I've Learned Since The Day My Heart Was Broken

All The Things I've Learned Since The Day My Heart Was Broken

The most important thing to remember is to never give up on yourself or the idea of love after you've been hurt.


The other night I was driving and an old song came on that I used to listen to on repeat after I got my heart broken a few years ago. However, this time while listening to it I didn't feel the hurt like I used to. This time, after a few years have gone by, I realized what my past heartbreak has taught me.

Sometimes people do not have the same intentions as you do. Right from the beginning of a relationship, you have to be assertive and make sure you two are on the same page, to avoid being hurt. I know this can be awkward when you're getting to know someone, but trust me it can save you a lot of time in the long run. It's always important to know you and that person are sharing mutual feelings. Communication is really important in any relationship, really.

Always remember that even if you're being 100% honest with someone, it doesn't always mean they're being 100% honest with you. If someone has lied to you in the past, that is not because of anything you have done. Liars will be liars. People will hide things, manipulate you, and use hurtful words to belittle you. So despite what anyone might say, you most likely did nothing to deserve that. If someone has hurt you in the past, they're most likely just so insecure about themselves that they have to find a way to take out their anger on someone who doesn't deserve it.

You could be the most caring, thoughtful, and kind person and still be cheated on, lied to, and taken advantage of. This shows a lot about that person's character. Not everyone will have the same kind-hearted intentions as you. There's never a way for you to predict that a relationship will go south. In the beginning, you have so much trust and faith in this person and the relationship you hope to have. But your intentions and vision for the future can be completely different from someone else's. Sometimes, you don't learn this until after the relationship ends and you're left being hurt.

The thing I want to stress the most is that this heartbreak will teach you SO much about yourself. Typically, after a heartbreak, you will blame yourself. You ask yourself what you did wrong and what's wrong with yourself that someone didn't want you. We immediately think it's because of us that things went wrong. This is not the truth! Never blame yourself for being too naive or trusting in someone. When you begin a relationship, you always want to have a certain level of openness. There's nothing wrong with wearing your heart on your sleeve. But over time, after you've experienced heartbreak, you become closed off and afraid to open up to anyone in fear of being hurt again.

I want to emphasize the fact that we cannot close off our hearts forever. A little amount of apprehensiveness is healthy. However, don't give up on love forever. One day, I have so much faith that you will find someone who won't hurt you. You'll find someone who sees your flaws and loves them. There will be someone who will share the same goals and visions as you. Someone who is your better half, and understands you. This might happen within a week, month, a year... You can never be sure when you'll experience this type of love.

All I can say is that your heartbreak from the past only existed to build you strong enough to find your real and loving relationship. Heartbreak happens; not to tear you down and destroy your outlook on love. You have to be hopeful that there is happiness for you, whether that be in a relationship with family, friends, or a loved one. Finding love may not be your ultimate goal, but believe me, love will find you. Love will find a way into your heart whether that be through your passions or hobbies.

Heartbreak doesn't mean you have to tear yourself apart. It means you find yourself. You learn that you are so strong. You kept pushing through life even when you felt defeated and humiliated. You continued to smile on days where you wanted to stay in bed all day. You kept going, even when people made you feel less about yourself. Heartbreak isn't easy and it's never ideal but it's not avoidable. It just makes us stronger and makes us realize what we deserve. Never stop seeking the love you deserve. No matter how old you are, or where you are in life just remember that love will find you.

Popular Right Now

I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Dear Dads, Every Day Is Father's Day, Especially Today

To all the wonderful dads out there: you are LOVED!


Today, we celebrate you dad. Whether you're the sports dad, the music dad, the car dad, the engineer dad, the math dad, the religious dad, the protective dad, or some combination of the above, we want to celebrate you!

You have showed us what it means to be hard-working.

You tend to work overtime at your job and bring your work home. You care a ton about your employees and treat them with the utmost respect. You deal with your clients carefully, determined to fully satisfy their requests of your company. You have taught us to work diligently until the task is finished, take your time on projects to ensure completion to the highest standard, and always communicate effectively with clients and employees.

You have showed us what it means to be loyal.

You've remained loyal to caring for the family for as long as we have been alive. You've remained loyal to your clients and employees. You've remained loyal to your trade by pursuing it for over 25 years. You've remained loyal to us by attending our ceremonies and graduations. You've remained loyal to our mom by staying married and working through everything. You've remained loyal to your siblings by always being a shoulder for them. You've remained loyal to your parents by making time to remind them they are loved. Most importantly, you've remained loyal to the Lord, our Father through your faith and example as a dad. You have stayed loyal to all of these things, showing us what it means to remain steadfast and what things in life are worth our complete loyalty.

You have showed us what it means to love and be loved.

You've showed us that true love is not always rainbow and unicorns. We see the ups and downs that life brings you. We see that sometimes it is too difficult to show others love. We see the perfect example of how to balance life and love through you. You've showed us that to love others is to care deeply for them. You've showed us that to love others is to always want the best possible outcome for them. You've showed us that to love others is to pray for them. You've given us unconditional, everlasting love through your words, actions, support, and guidance. We've learned how to accept love, reciprocate love, and give love to those who need it most.

It is because of you dad, that we were able to grow up into the hard-working, loyal, and loving people we are today. For that, we are forever grateful. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Let's celebrate them today and every day!

Related Content

Facebook Comments