Loving someone can be a risk. This is what they don't show you in movies or fairy tales. When you finally allow yourself to be open to love and give your trust to someone to take some ownership over your heart, you can have two results- a person for life or a lesson for life.
If your result turns out to be the unfortunate one of the two, nothing prepares you for the storm you are about to experience. Your tears are as heavy as the rain preparing for a tsunami, your sobbing takes control over your breathing like a tornado in your lungs, your nauseousness making your stomach shake like a hurricane, and you sit there numb and paralyzed like your toes in the snow, enduring this storm. What you just experienced was a heartbreak.
You wonder how you will endure this pain. But you will. Your emotions and pain are evidence that you endured this thing called life. You were not afraid to take a risk. This alone makes you stronger, more than you could ever realize. You have proven that you are capable of loving someone and if it does hurt this much, then that means you were good at love. You allowed yourself to feel every emotion that love had to offer.
Even though the relationship is over, the aching is still there. Heartbreaks don't heal over night. They go through a slow recovery. Some of us have learned this the hard way, through experience. I have endured that storm, not once, but twice. Even though I had prior experience as to what a heartbreak feels like and you assume I would be desensitized the second time around, it was like dealing with it for the first time.
You forget how bad it feels. You forget that you are even capable of producing that amount of tears. You forget that one person could have so much control over you, even though they are not even in your life anymore. You forget your values and worth. You start blaming yourself and having regrets. You start thinking "what if I did this" or "what if I said that".
Worst of all, you start believing that you are not capable of being loved. You think that if someone really loved you, then why would they ever make you feel this way so they must've never loved you to begin with. Wrong. Maybe they did love you, but that does not mean they deserved you. Like the movies and fairy tales, you deserve a happy ending too.
