Hate is a strong word they say, but I think that's an understatement. Hatred is a stronghold, it is an oppression, and it is deadly. People are going to wrong us in this life, we can always be certain of that. Sometimes when people wrong us, we hold a grudge. We hate them. Other times we make mistakes or bad decisions and even hate ourselves. But remember this, hatred is a choice.

We all struggle with something different, and right now mine just happens to be forgiveness. I kick myself, thinking "This should be easier, you've had to forgive way worse." But it just doesn't work that way. Hatred manifests as bitterness if it is not dealt with, and those roots go deep. I've heard people say that we can't actually hate other people or ourselves. But the truth is we can. It's just extremely determential to our mental and spiritual health. When I dealt with self hatred, it was my biggest driving force behind my self harm and suicidal thoughts. It steals, kills and destroys!

This is something that takes time, patience and much healing to accomplish. It is something we need to work on everyday, something I need to work on everyday. I've done it before and I know I can do it again. This is how we tackle this obstacle.

1. Go to scripture.

The Lord's instruction about forgiveness is clear. We are not asked to forgive, we are required to forgive. And if we cannot extend grace to others, Christ cannot extend grace to us. Scripture is the best way to renew your mind and see people the way Jesus does.

2. Pray.

Pray for the Lord to heal your heart and mind, and pray for the person(s) you are struggling to forgive.

3. Renew your mind.

One of the biggest ways to forgive someone is to change your perspective of them. Think, why did they do what they did? What is the root behind their wrong? What are they struggling with? Learn to look at them through the eyes of Christ.

4. Be consistent.

It may take weeks or months to forgive someone, depending on the depth of the root or the amount of time spent wallowing in the bitterness. I know this feels impossible, but if you remain consistent you will see progress in your heart and mind.