We are taught to forgive and forget from a very young age. We grow up forgiving people whom have wronged us because that is what we are supposed to do. Forgiveness becomes a natural happening for some people. It becomes so incredibly easy because we know we are supposed to see the good in everybody, and after so long we actually begin to believe every person has a kind heart. There’s your trouble. Not everyone has a heart as pure as yours. It seems a lot easier to think everyone has good intentions from the start, but once you accept that that is not the case, you aren’t disappointed as often. If you are not familiar with what having a forgiving heart is like, I am here to let you in on a little secret; it sucks.
Don’t get me wrong, you are supposed to forgive and move on. That is actually a command. But my problem is when I forgive, I find myself forgiving the same person for the same thing over and over again. What is wrong with me? This phenomenon has got to stop! This is what happens when forgiveness is given too freely:
1.You become a push-over
People take your kind soul for granted and push your forgiveness button considerably often, knowing once they push that button you have no choice but to forgive them. It's just who you are; it's in your blood.
2.You become the back-up friend
If you are anything like me, you know exactly how being a "back-up friend" feels. Friends don’t come to you to make plans, they wait until other plans have fallen through to even think of calling you. Or better yet, they cancel plans with you because something/someone more important came up. The friendship street has officially been paved to be only one way. This isn’t because they don’t like you or they don’t want to hang out with you. You become a back-up friend because you allow yourself to be. In their eyes you don’t have a problem with them canceling plans for the 92nd time in a row. They know it's just water under the bridge with you, so why not?
3.You get hurt
In the end you actually hurt yourself. You pass out forgiveness like it’s candy, and get your feelings hurt when someone takes it and then turns around and smashes it on the ground. Too many times have you given that same person a different piece.
That being said, continue to forgive people; Heck forgive people who never even asked for forgiveness, but do it for you. Do it to give yourself peace of mind. Most of all stop thinking everyone deserves a second, third and fourth chance. I mean come on, this is getting ridiculous, don't you think?
Sheetal Tadiparty
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