When I was younger, I made my bucket list. I didn't really know what to put on it, because I didn't quite understand what it was, so I just looked things up on the internet. I wanted a hundred things to go on the list.

For some reason, I put down "shave my head." 12-year-old me thought it was a good idea, even though 19-year-old me isn't very crazy and doesn't take too many risks.

I casually asked my parents what they would do if I shaved my head... This questioning happened for several years. Then I asked my hair dresser what she would think... I asked my sister, my friends.

Everyone just thought I was being silly. Nobody thought I would ACTUALLY shave my head. That's crazy! Nobody in their right mind just chops off all their hair!

Well, it's a good thing I'm not in my right mind, because that's exactly what I did.

I had to get up early in the morning to make it to my 8 am psychology class. I sat down in my chair, out of breath after climbing my way to the third floor, and pulled out my phone. I asked my friend if she would take me somewhere to get my head shaved that afternoon.

Knowing how little I think sometimes, and also just looking out for me, she asked if it was such a good idea to make such a big decision so damn early in the morning. But I was sure. My mind was hesitant, but also 100% confident that this was what I wanted.

I wasn't about to pay $30-$50 for someone to chop my hair off. We walked into a Great Clips (where I could spend $14 instead) and went straight to the desk.

The receptionist greeted us with such a kind smile. She pushed her short, trendy, "I'd like to speak to your manager" hair out of her face and asked what she could do for us.

"Will you guys buzz my hair?" I asked.

I sat down and waited twenty minutes while she chuckled to herself after telling me yes.

Then, it was time for the trim. The stylist started to fluff around with my hair, smiling and asking what I wanted. When I told her to buzz it, she stood there. Shocked and incredulous.

Her jaw fell to the floor, just like more than sixteen inches of my hair did.

A weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Literally. There was no longer a need to carry pony tails on my wrist. No need for headbands to push my hair back out of my face. No need for a blow drier. No more headaches!

My hair had become permanently windswept. The 3/4 inch locks stood up from my head, revealing all of my cowlicks, but still glamorous.

Most people almost didn't recognize me. Hell, I hardly recognized myself. Everyone wanted to know the motive. Had I been planning this?

I explained that it was simply a plan on a whim. People were usually stunned, but (overall) showed their support for my buzz and complimented my new look.

When I cut my hair, I didn't realize I was taking all of my beauty with it. As I was paying for my haircut, the stylist told me, "It's good you have cute facial features so you can actually kind of pull off this haircut."

I also ran into a friend (now a distant acquaintance) who told me he was sorry that I had become sick. He wanted to know how long it's been, and reminded me that with strength, my body and hair will continue to grow once I'm done fighting...

Another acquaintance looked in horror the first time I saw her and asked why I had cut it all off. My hair was so beautiful!

My parents were the most shocked out of anyone... I was texting with my dad and told him the news, including a picture. My mom wanted to know what had possessed me to do this to myself, and my dad just kept saying "holy cow!"

Not having so much hair has made me a bit vulnerable. I discovered that not only did others find my hair to be one of my most beautiful features, but I did, too.

Thinking about my hair, I hated it. It was an awful, mousy brown that I had dyed and highlighted so much it had become damaged all throughout. It tangled immediately when it sprinkled outside, even just a hint. It couldn't curl for crap and got greasy very quickly.

Getting rid of it was a relief.

Yet, I did hate to part with it... With long hair, I was able to hide my face if I needed. Hide my emotions and my existence. Or, I was able to be like the other girls who all had gorgeous golden locks. They envied me for having such naturally straight hair.

I valued my hair much more than I initially thought. When you lose one thing, you must learn to heighten the others. Well, that's true in some cases.

But in my case, I think I can pull off being beautiful...even without my hair.