There has been a problem I have been noticing a lot in recent years. Well, at least it's a problem to me.
I will be having a conversation with a guy, maybe about an annoying customer at work. You want to know the response I get from him?
"Well, at least you look pretty."
Um, okay thanks, but that still doesn't making getting coupons thrown at me any better.
How about actually trying to engage in conversation? He could at least say "Oh that sucks, my friend had that happen to him before."
Now, that doesn't have to be the exact response, but at least give me something I can work with.
If he wants to tell me I'm pretty that's fine, but don't just say it because you have nothing else to say or you think I'm so shallow that telling me I'm pretty makes my day all rainbows and sunshine.
There's also the guy that uses it almost as a distraction.
I'll be in the middle of a story and he'll just randomly blurt "You look pretty." Again, thank you, but shut up and listen to me.
He really couldn't have waited until I was done talking? If he wanted to interrupt me it could have at least been with something relevant.
The absolute worst use of "You look pretty" is when I am mad at a guy and he thinks saying that will suddenly make me less pissed off.
I've had guys at work who didn't do their job who think saying this will suddenly make everything better. What would really make things better is if they did their jobs, but for some reason "You look pretty" is their first try.
Don't get me wrong, compliments are nice to hear, but not when I'm trying to have real conversation or they're only doing it in hopes that I become less angry. Also the whole "You're pretty" thing gets repetitive.
Mix it up guys; I don't need to hear it five times a day.
Try out a different compliment. It doesn't always have to be about looks.
It doesn't even have to be about personality, a casual "You did great on that presentation" or "Wow, that piece you wrote was really good." Acknowledge an achievement or our work.
The lesson here is please, for the love of everything, learn that there is a time for compliments and a time to just listen and have a real conversation.
