With how committed relationships are these days, all it takes is one bad experience for someone to put their walls up after getting hurt. And lo and behold, you have the recent development of the girl who is simply guarded. And this guarded girl, she's not necessarily unavailable. She still has feelings, and she's open to new relationships. But she's cautious, and there are certain things that she needs above all else.
She needs your vulnerability. She wants you to be vulnerable with her, even if she's not terribly vulnerable with you just yet. Once she knows that you're comfortable being yourself around her, she'll feel safe and be more open with her emotions around you. She'll be looking for you to break down your walls first because that's how she'll know that you're not just another one who's going to be emotionally unattached and break her heart.
She craves consistency. She needs someone who is exactly who they say they are, day after day. So trust me, she's taking notes; she's watching what you say, and she's making sure it lines up with everything else. She wants to be able to trust that you're not going to change who you are the next day, or worse, leave as soon as she catches feelings.
She wants reassurance. She doesn't need grand gestures or lots of gifts to prove that you care about her. It's going to be the little, everyday things that show her you're there and that you're there to stay. She knows that her guarded heart can be hard to love, and that it takes patience to tear down her walls. She needs to know you're there to stay, and that her hesitancy isn't a burden for you, but rather something you're willing to work on with her.
She looks for initiation. She's looking for you to make the first moves and ask the hard questions. Believe me, she's thinking about them too, but she'd rather stay quiet and listen to you talk, as opposed to putting herself out there. She wants to see if you care enough to know more about her, to go out on a limb and make plans with her. She's looking to you to make the first move because she's scared of pushing you away if she tries.
Most of all, she needs your actions over your words. She has learned the hard way that while some people have pretty words, it's their actions that say the most. She'll be watching carefully, matching up your words to their corresponding actions, or the lack thereof. She will look for clues not in your text messages but in your behaviors. If those things do line up, then that makes her feel safe. And guarded girls who feel safe are the ones who will start letting down their emotional walls for you. Then, that's when you'll see just how much she's emotionally invested and how much she cares. And trust me, that's worth it.
