So, there's this new trend in dating that I'm really not a fan of and it's called "ghosting." And no, it has nothing to do with Casper the Friendly Ghost. For those who are unfamiliar with this new craze, Urban Dictionary defines it as, "The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject no longer wishes to date." Basically, one minute everything is fine, or so you thought, and the next it's like the person you were dating or "talking to" no longer exists.
Why do people do this? Maybe it's the fear of having the break-up conversation or not wanting to 'fess up and tell that person that the feelings just aren't mutual. Or maybe the ghost-er just doesn't even want to put in the effort to explain themselves. Ghosting may have good intentions, but the outcome certainly isn't desirable. It leaves the ghost-ee with nothing but questions. Did they do something wrong? Did something happen to the ghost-er? Was the timing wrong? What there someone else? There is no closure with ghosting and it can leave the ghost-ee utterly confused and scared to enter into another relationship, worried that the same thing might happen again.
The other problem with ghosting is that it leaves everyone a potential victim. Who knows when the person you are talking to might decide you are no longer worth their time. It makes us paranoid. It makes us overly self conscious and analytical of our own moves in the relationship and our partners. It contributes to the casual, no-commitment dating culture of today's society. Instead of taking the time to tell someone that the feelings just weren't there, we take the easy way out and just cut off communication. It seems less painful, but it's actually worse than a traditional break up. Perhaps the reason ghosting is so prevalent now is that no one feels obligated to have the break up conversation because it is unclear if you were even dating to begin with. We are all talking and hooking up and keeping things causal, but in reality, no one actually knows what that means. There are no standards or expectations, which makes everything ten times more confusing than dating for previous generations.
In this world of online communication where we continually put ourselves before others and forget about others feelings in order to preserve our own, we lose touch with what dating and relationships are really about -- caring about someone else. So whether you are dating, hooking up, talking, going steady or something in between, consider the other person in the relationship before acting. Their feelings matter, too.
