Yes, I’m a woman. Yes, I want to be what Tina Fey and Oprah have become, a #ladyboss. Yes, I think that there is a divide between what is considered feminism and what is considered "man-hating." So often feminism is painted as just that, man-hating and that women are superior and all men are evil. While this is neither the intention nor the truth, it has become a commonly held impression. I don’t consider myself a feminist, but rather someone who simply wants equality: equal rights, equal pay, equal judgment, equal success, and most importantly equal choice.

The idea of equal choice is often overlooked in discussions of feminism. So much of the media has focused on the push for women to enter male-dominated fields that the choice to be a stay-at-home mom is an overlooked idea because it goes against all things that are feminist. Those women who choose to stay at home have criticized moms, who have chosen to pursue careers, for not putting their family and children first. What we should be focusing on is realizing feminism isn’t about every woman becoming a CEO or a sports broadcaster; it’s about women finding their own version of success, without being told the limitations of their gender. Success could mean starting a family and raising children. For other women, it may mean devoting their life to God. For many, it means rising to leadership positions in business, science, or government. If we all chose the same path, then our society would rot: no diversity of role or diversity of thought. If equal success is what we are striving for, then why is there not a male equivalent for feminism?

Many feminist groups are so busy for women’s rights that the stigma and challenges of men working in female-dominated fields are often overlooked. Men who work as nurses, florists, or fashion designers have their masculinity challenged or assumed to be gay. This is especially true of men who choose to be stay-at-home dads. How can we claim as a feminist that women should be encouraged to go into male-dominated fields such as engineering or politics and not provide the same consideration to men? This is usually the time when “feminists” will belittle me for not fighting for my right as a woman. These are still women’s issues, but they are issues that men face as well. Fighting for equality means equal opportunity for all: women and men. We can’t fight for equality if we aren’t willing to fight for every person, man or woman, defining his or her own version of success.

I suggest we forget the word feminism altogether. Just remove the word from your vocabulary because it has taken on negative connotations that were never intended. We’ll see more change advocating for equality for all rather than trying to rebrand a label that has been torn apart with conflicting definitions and has clearly been spoiled. Start pushing for equal success, equal pay, and equal opportunities. Stop with the men vs. women and the gay vs. straight. Stop fighting for one group to be stronger than another and fight for attainment as a whole. I don’t consider myself a feminist, but I do consider myself an example for equal practices and hope you will too.

So yes ladies and gentleman, lets strive for success in whatever field inspires us and not let anyone tell us what that looks like or why we can’t achieve it!