Retail is a special type of work most of us have worked at one point in our life that requires a decent amount of personable skills, coffee, and patience. It's the type of job that prides itself off the idea that "the customer is always right" and often "how was everything" or "did you find everything you were looking for today" are a staple to the model script for all employees. It might not be your first job or even fit the waiting tables and ringing cashier descriptive stereotype, but it's the one job that made you more aware of individuals, specifically your number one priority: the customers. As both a passive-aggressive past and current retail worker and writer of this article, I must give a slight disclosure: I love my customers and the social interaction of each unique individual which is why I like my job that allows me to meet new characters. To reiterate, these aren't opinions of every customer but rather ones that myself, a coworker at any job I've held, or a relative or friend have encountered.

1. I'm not actually doing well.

I'm lucky if a customer reciprocates the question "how are you?" and when it is reciprocated, often the response is nothing short or longer than "good, thank you." My honest answer would be similar to a strand of complaints caused by premenstrual symptoms: I'm exhausted. I want to go home, take a long hot shower, lay in bed, and watch Netflix. I also want a foot rub and a nap, please? Truly, I appreciate you asking me how I'm doing as well, but please know when I redirect my eye contact that means I'm not doing so well.

2. For Heaven's Sake, please supervise your children.

As I've never been a parent before (and do not plan on it for a bit of time), I feel that I'm in no position to tell a parent how to parent, but please please PLEASE watch your child/ren. It seems redundant to even say your child/ren shouldn't be running around the store unsupervised. This isn't a playground and I'd really appreciate if you took the ball away from your offspring, held their hand, and stopped rewarding them for misbehaving.

3. Please don't make me have to say, "I can help who's next" more than twice.

I get it. You didn't hear me the first time, that's understandable. To avoid that happening a second time, might I suggest you take your earbuds out of your ear? Not only is it uncomfortable for me to raise my voice numerous times across the store, but the customers behind you are rapidly getting frustrated while shooting dirty looks signifying me to fix the problem (aka you).

4. No, I don't have a photographical mind map of the entire layout of the store.

I have no idea the quantity or precise geographical coordinates of X, Y, and Z are in store but I can give you a general vicinity. If I'm wrong, please don't yell at me. There is a difference, however, in the tone used while correcting me versus letting me know what section you found what you were looking for in.

5. No, I am not flirting with you.

I'M MAKING CASUAL CONVERSATION AND PASSING THE TIME OVER MY EIGHT-HOUR SHIFT. I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ACCEPTING YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE AND MOVING IN TOGETHER WITH OUR FUTURE PUPPIES.

6. Please don't slide your card prior to me telling you to insert the chip.

I hate going to a store and not knowing if I'm supposed to swipe or insert, and typically I wait for the cashier to let me know what I should do when I pull out my card. As a cashier, it's frustrating that while I'm still ringing up your purchases, you swipe the second you're doing putting your purchases on the counter. The problem here is 1. our machine will prompt you when to swipe and 2. you need to insert your chip which you'd know if you'd give me a chance to finish your fifty item purchase.

7. I cannot give you a discount. I do not control the prices.

If you have a question about a damaged item, please ask to be directed to an assistant manager or general manager because the sales associate in front of you has to listen eagerly to your complaint until you give her a moment to inform you that she needs to get a manager to further assist you anyway.

8. Counting money is easy, but counting money for eight hours straight is not.

If I made a mistake and forgot to give you back that last penny, please don't start cursing me out. It is very easy to forget the fastest way to make change or accidentally give you the incorrect amount of change. I am not a human calculator or ATM machine that operates on coins; I simply handle the money, not feed on it, so please forgive me if I'm not fueled enough to function properly sometimes!

9. If I'm calling my manager over, that doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.

As a sales associate, I can tell you I need authorization of a refund that isn't an even exchange and I need authorization of $50 and $100 bills, so please do not get offended if I run your bills through a scanner and make you wait an extra 30 seconds until my manager gets there to check it thoroughly. It is protocol that both of us must follow and if you have a concern with it, please call corporate.

10. Your complaints about "wanting to get out of here quick" are invalid.

Lady, I've been here for 5 hours and I have 3 more to go, would you really like to compare the time I've spent here to the time you spent here today? I apologize you had to wait on line for longer than five minutes, but nobody wants to get out of here faster than me, thank you very much.

11. The store closing at 9:30pm is a suggestion, not an actual deadline.

Please do not walk in at 9:25pm. Mentally, I've closed the store down about an hour ago and it's time for you to collect your purchases, bring them to the front register, and leave.

12. I shouldn't feel rude asking you a question while you're talking on your cellphone at the register.

Isn't it rude when someone you're having a conversation with isn't reciprocating or giving their full attention? Yeah, I hate that too.

13. Which reminds me, if I'm talking to a customer, please don't interrupt.

I understand you have a question that will take less than 30 seconds and you don't want to wait on line, but at least wait until I've given the previous customer their receipt before interrupting. This makes it impossible for me to give the customer in front of me full attention, maintain eye contact with you while responding to your interruption, ring and bag the customer in front of me's purchases.

14. It's okay to use only change to pay.

Money is money, and who am I to judge as a broke college girl? I WILL be mad, however, if you push one hundred coins in front of me without helping me count first, because girl, my store is mentally closed now.