What Distance Does To A Relationship

Sometimes we just have to understand that our people could possibly leave us, and go far away. You know they say distance is just a bump in the road. It’s not. It’s a mountain most don’t make it over. It’s the biggest burden any person could experience. Distance is like death, but worse. When someone dies you have to understand that scientifically, you are never going to touch that person again. You have to cry your eyes out enough so that the pain of wanting to touch that person goes away. Death gives you certainty. Distance doesn’t.

When you are apart from someone for so long, so many things could happen. You could be lied to, you could get cheated on, you could spend days and weeks with out talking to the person. But scariest of all, you risk the love you have. That love will grow distance as well. Love is something you need to harvest and keep close with boundaries and warmth. It is not something to temper with. Distance tempers with love. Of course, some overcome it but it is torture.

Like death, distance leaves you with out your person. Distance is worse than death because you can’t touch the person, you can’t feel their lips on yours, you can’t breathe in their oh so soothing scent, you can only hear a distant, “hello,” on the phone once in a while. When you fall so deeply in love, it’s like you don’t care who or what stands in the way. You think distance is nothing, you think obstacles are cake; but time affects us too. Distance and time are like Bonnie and Clyde; they work together to ruin everything you guys ever were.

It all starts with the first few weeks. You obviously have not yet realized this person is probably not coming back for a really long time but yet you still have hope that you’re going to see them. You wait by the phone awaiting a text. Maybe those first few weeks, they will text you frequently. As time passes and they get busier with other things, they will get less busy with you. Things now at this point will start to evolve for the worst. Problems will arise like, “Why did you not call me last night?” or “Where were you?!” or even, “I’m so tired of not hearing from you and you being busy!” … It all comes in flashes.

Slowly bust surely things start to disintegrate. Your mind becomes more and more consumed with the thought of every possible bad scenario you could think of. Until one day, when you finally think you could do this, you get the call that makes your whole world fall right at your feet. It’s over. The distance… I can’t do it.. It’s too hard… I’ve found someone else.. Right then and there you feel empty, like you may have lost the best thing that’s ever happened to you; like you lost your best friend. At that moment you don’t think of anything but beautiful memories and a great love story. You’ll sit and cry for months, and your heart will be in shreds. Distance will break you apart.

Your heart is the strongest muscle in your body. It heals quickly, but it needs your help to do so. You need to get out of that corner in your room, wipe away the tears, hold your head high, and move on. You need to make those wounds distance left there in your heart, scars. You need those scars to heal so that they do not have the ability to open the second time around. Here’s to you: please, don’t go far away.