If you’re alive and breathing in mainstream America, you’ve most likely heard of the “Tinder” dating app. Unless, however, you live under a rock and have never heard of an iPhone before, or Facebook, or the Internet. And you’re also a yellow sponge who lives under the sea.
Anyway— when I first came across Tinder, I was a senior in high school and thought the app was a joke. An iPhone app for dating? Where you swipe right for “yes,” or left for “no” when presented with potential dating partners? Oh, God, there is no hope for the future of humanity. Friends and I scoffed at the app like it was an undignified embarrassment and I deleted it off my phone as soon as it finished downloading, thinking real dating was the only way to meet a quality person.
I was so wrong.
Nearly four years later Tinder has become incredibly more mainstream in the 20-something crowd. So after plenty of unfortunate and disappointing boy excursions in college, I decided to try out the seemingly unconventional ways of Tinder. Maybe I finally saw the genius of Tinder, or maybe I just grew up and realized that I shouldn’t give a flying f*ck about what anyone else thinks (and neither should you, your life is your own).
So I downloaded the app and got to it.
“Swiping” was actually a super entertaining use of my time, and it definitely reinforced the belief that a lot people are really...strange.
Anyone who would choose to include a gun or weapon in their pictures received an immediate no. Other swipe-left worthy pictures? Uncomfortably intense male selfies that gave me the uh-oh feeling. You know the look, he's going for James Bond but it comes across as...constipation. Yeah, swiping left, wish you the best.
I may be coming off as judgmental, but remember this is a dating app that’s based solely on pictures. I had to gather my preferences, likes and dislikes and apply them to the pictures I was presented with. Tinder didn’t give me another choice. Well, I always have a choice, but I had to rely on the process of elimination, ya know? Try to formulate some type of Tinder standard. I didn’t want to end up with twenty dates (really, 20 dates would not equal happiness, people).
Tinder is a shallow, image-obsessed social tool; you make an impression in a number of seconds and only a few pictures to help you shape that decision.
What if you gave your soulmate a swipe-left on Tinder, just because you didn’t like the turtleneck he wore in his unfortunate mirror-pic? You can’t see a person’s wonderful personality, sense of humor, and big heart through a picture.
Tinder stress.
I found myself swiping right to guys who looked friendly and smart. I felt like I was making good choices, like, Oh, that guy seems to likes cats and hiking, and, look, he owns a puppy and likes brunch. I wonder if he reads? I mean, I’m sure he can read—possesses the ability to read—but I wonder if he actually reads, for fun? OK, looks like a possible keeper to me.
Exactly why I think Tinder is ridiculous and amazing at the same time.
The result is truly a blind date. You’re agreeing to meet an individual whom you know nothing about. And that’s either really terrifying, or really exciting. Or both. In my case, both.
I swiped right when I stumbled upon the profile of a dark-haired man with handsome chocolate eyes and a nice smile. There was just something genuine about his face. The only information I could see were a few pictures and the words: Sean, 26. A few minutes later he messaged me and we talked for a little while throughout the evening.
Before I knew it, I had a Tinder date.
And the next night, I went on this Tinder date.
I usually don’t get nervous before dates. Not trying to brag, but before a date, the closest thing I feel like is something between a mixture of Beyoncé and Lauren Conrad. It’s a beautiful feeling, dammit.
But the night of my Tinder date, my stomach was in knots. I felt uncertain. What if I don’t know what to say. What if he doesn’t know what to say? What if he’s a creep, or a serial killer, or what if Sean isn’t even his real name, or what if he’s married, or what if he doesn’t like pizza and only eats raw meat and never wears shoes?
I’m a person who loves spontaneity and taking chances, but Tinder felt like a little bit of a leap, even for me. Definitely out of my comfort zone. And I loved it and hated it at the same time.
Sean texted that he was sitting at a table on the outdoor patio, and it was easy to spot the only dark-haired guy sitting alone outside with his head in his phone. Welp, this is it. Woohoo, Tinder. Should I give him a hug or just sit down? I decided on an ingenious mixture of the two, greeted him, then half-squatted while giving him a hug and simultaneously transitioned into my chair. I pulled it off flawlessly, obviously (absolutely not).
Other than my awkward half-squat-half-hug, our date went perfectly. It was so... pleasant. Not kidding. Couldn't have imagined a better date. It was probably the best date I’ve ever been on. Surprising, right? Go figure.
He has one of the greatest voices I’ve ever heard. And what’s sexier than a great voice on a guy? Probably nothing, that’s what. I ordered the classic Keystone mac and cheese, he ordered tacos, and our conversation flowed easily. We learned we have a surprising amount in common. I felt immediately comfortable and relaxed with him, and he turned out to be a sweet, smart, good guy.
After dinner we decided to take a small walk and adventured over the Roebling Bridge. Pretty sure that's when it became evident to both of us that we were having a good time because you don’t just voluntarily walk over a bridge above the Ohio River with a complete stranger if you’re feeling unsure or suspicious.
Although I was on a date with a stranger, I felt like I was grabbing dinner with an old friend. It seemed like I had known Sean forever.
Tinder fluke or miracle? Who knows. But, moral of the story here, don’t knock it until you try it. And be safe, of course, always be safe.
Tinder, despite being a little weird and scary, is actually a really cool way to meet new people. The possibilities are endless. Just remember some key strategies: Eliminate those individuals that don’t meet your standards, yet be open to possible nice, good guys hiding behind the screen of your phone. And as always, when you do arrange a date, be sure it's in a public place, people know where you are, and have a solid exit strategy. Safety needs to be your number one priority.
Tinder is just a lot of process of elimination, intertwined with following your instincts—actually not very different from real dating, at all.
