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Manly Products Have Manly Names—I think...

Wouldn't you want to smell like an artic sea fresh glacier? I totally would.

Colleen Daly

Jun 20, 2018

University of Connecticut

148

Pexels

If you ever find yourself bored at any type of grocery or department store, here's a game you can play. Go to the body wash/shampoo aisle and read the names of the products, whoever finds the strangest name, wins. Personally, I think men's products take the cake on this one. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

1. Charcoal and clean

Giphy

Yes. Body wash gets you clean. If it didn't, I would be concerned as to why it was marketed as such a product. Body + wash = clean. Right? So why does it need to be explained in the fragrance name? I don't get it.

2. You

Giphy

So does this smell like you? Or me? Or Chris Hemsworth? Maybe Cole Sprouse? (Don't ask me why those were the first two male celebrities that popped into my head, okay? Okay. Moving on.) Such a vague name for a personal product, if you ask me. Or is that the point? Is this supposed to seem personal? I think I'd prefer to smell charcoal clean, thanks.

3. Cool Charge

Giphy

I imagine this one is meant to make you feel refreshed but all I can think about it batteries. Does anyone want to smell like a battery? What do batteries even smell like? Go sniff one and let me know.

4. Dark Temptation

Giphy

Ooooh. We're getting mysterious now. If this is meant to make guys feel they're the cool guy from the movies with his hair slicked back, leather jacket and only mutters under his breath most of the time, then yes. This works but if that's not what this company was going for, then I'm not too sure what they were.

5. Black

Giphy

Compared to what? White? Blue? Green? Yellow? Do colors even smell like anything? If so, is this what black is supposed to smell like? How do they know? A lot more questions than answers on this one.

6. Chill Black

Giphy

So the same as black, but just cold. Got it.

7. Snake Peel

Giphy

You know the skin that snakes shed that sometimes can be found around your yard if you happen to live in a wooded area with a few stone walls? Is that what this is? Or are we going for more of a banana vibe?

8. Sensitive Shield

Giphy

All I can think of is captain America whipping out his "sensitivity shield" in battle and then just bursting out into tears. Definitely not what they were going for.

9. Fresh Awake

Giphy

Again. Body + wash = clean, which also = fresh. I know the whole world likes to market products that say what they do but common sense people.

10. Aqua Impact

Giphy

Thank god, my aqua is impacted. I don't know what I would do without some impacted aqua. What does that even mean, by the way? Does anyone know?

I can't be the only one who sees this stuff and laughs at the ridiculousness. Do guys even pay attention? Do any of you care what you wash yourself with or as long as you don't smell like a wet dog who's rolled in its own poop, you're cool with smelling like a dark ice mountain rock cliff? Even if that makes no sense, what so ever. Genuinely curious.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Recommended for you

Manly Products Have Manly Names—I think...

Wouldn't you want to smell like an artic sea fresh glacier? I totally would.

1. Charcoal and clean

2. You

3. Cool Charge

4. Dark Temptation

5. Black

6. Chill Black

7. Snake Peel

8. Sensitive Shield

9. Fresh Awake

10. Aqua Impact

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Why you should spend your next summer in New England.

Nature is beautiful (and so is math). The last one will blow your mind.

1. Shells

2. Trees

3. Flower Pistils

4. Flower Petals

5. Leaves

6. Storms

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Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

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I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

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Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

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Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

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17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

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