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Beauty Fashion

Manly Products Have Manly Names—I think...

Wouldn't you want to smell like an artic sea fresh glacier? I totally would.

Colleen Daly
Jun 20, 2018
University of Connecticut
149
https://www.pexels.com/photo/three-person-taking-a-bath-929274/
Pexels

If you ever find yourself bored at any type of grocery or department store, here's a game you can play. Go to the body wash/shampoo aisle and read the names of the products, whoever finds the strangest name, wins. Personally, I think men's products take the cake on this one. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

1. Charcoal and clean

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Yes. Body wash gets you clean. If it didn't, I would be concerned as to why it was marketed as such a product. Body + wash = clean. Right? So why does it need to be explained in the fragrance name? I don't get it.

2. You

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So does this smell like you? Or me? Or Chris Hemsworth? Maybe Cole Sprouse? (Don't ask me why those were the first two male celebrities that popped into my head, okay? Okay. Moving on.) Such a vague name for a personal product, if you ask me. Or is that the point? Is this supposed to seem personal? I think I'd prefer to smell charcoal clean, thanks.

3. Cool Charge

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I imagine this one is meant to make you feel refreshed but all I can think about it batteries. Does anyone want to smell like a battery? What do batteries even smell like? Go sniff one and let me know.

4. Dark Temptation

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Ooooh. We're getting mysterious now. If this is meant to make guys feel they're the cool guy from the movies with his hair slicked back, leather jacket and only mutters under his breath most of the time, then yes. This works but if that's not what this company was going for, then I'm not too sure what they were.

5. Black

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Compared to what? White? Blue? Green? Yellow? Do colors even smell like anything? If so, is this what black is supposed to smell like? How do they know? A lot more questions than answers on this one.

6. Chill Black

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So the same as black, but just cold. Got it.

7. Snake Peel

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You know the skin that snakes shed that sometimes can be found around your yard if you happen to live in a wooded area with a few stone walls? Is that what this is? Or are we going for more of a banana vibe?

8. Sensitive Shield

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​All I can think of is captain America whipping out his "sensitivity shield" in battle and then just bursting out into tears. Definitely not what they were going for.

9. Fresh Awake

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Again. Body + wash = clean, which also = fresh. I know the whole world likes to market products that say what they do but common sense people.

10. Aqua Impact

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Thank god, my aqua is impacted. I don't know what I would do without some impacted aqua. What does that even mean, by the way? Does anyone know?

I can't be the only one who sees this stuff and laughs at the ridiculousness. Do guys even pay attention? Do any of you care what you wash yourself with or as long as you don't smell like a wet dog who's rolled in its own poop, you're cool with smelling like a dark ice mountain rock cliff? Even if that makes no sense, what so ever. Genuinely curious.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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