Due to the summer wedding season, I have been watching some of my friends and family get married. I am in utter disbelief of the total expenses just to have a "party", let alone the honeymoon. I know that traditionally the bride or her family pays for the wedding and the husband and/or his family pays for the honeymoon. I also know, that being traditional in this sense is just not going to work for me.
Traditionally, the bride/bride's family pays for the wedding because the groom is expected to buy a house and support their new wife. Nowadays, things are different because women are able to be more independent, have careers, and often be the breadwinner. A lot of couples pay for things together included the wedding and the house. This is what I want, not a traditional wedding.
Yes, I want to have a wedding with my friends and family. Of course, I want to wear a long white dress and a veil; that is something every little girl dreams of. Yes, I want to have some sort of tropical honeymoon where I can drink Mai Thai's on the beach with the man I love. But I cannot be the one expected to spend $20,000 on a rehearsal dinner, ceremony, AND reception.
While getting married is something that is not even close to happening for me and maybe by the time it does I will be rich and able to afford the price of committing my love for my future spouse in front of all my friends and family, I still do not think I will be able to afford that on my own.
Being in a relationship that is geared towards marriage is a partnership, so why should I be expected to pay the whole price of the wedding. With this in mind, I do not want a luxurious wedding that costs more than I can afford - I have to be realistic. This is what budgeting is for. I want to be within my means and honestly, I would rather have a nicer honeymoon than a wedding but I want that to be a partnership as well to pay for that.
I am a 20-something-year-old woman, I love the idea of being in love. I love the idea of weddings. I love the idea of finding someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. I do not love the cost of expressing that love. As I said, I still want to have a wedding but I want to be realistic about the cost. I want to have a non-traditional wedding only if the non-traditional part is who pays for what. I want the white dress, the honeymoon, to give my vows, I just do not want to pay for the cost. So future husband, wherever you are, please do not expect me to be traditional in that aspect and be ready to help me pay for the whole wedding thing.