I have become recently engaged to the love of my life and my best friend. However, even with this new declaration of love and new stereotype of “fiancé” the joy of being together does not last as long. Do not get me wrong, we are totally in love with each other and devoted to each other. But, even with us being newly engaged comes the stress of typical wedding planning which gets in the way. And even though we have not planned much, we have had multiple disagreements over what we should do for our wedding day. We have argued over venues and where to get married from having a beach wedding, renting a big mansion, or holding our wedding at a country club or hotel. Plus, the questions that we get asked from friends and family friends are never ending about, “When is the date?” or “What is your theme?” or “Where do you plan to have the wedding?”. Those do not help, especially when it comes to that one individual who tells you, “Oh, you should already know where you want the wedding and the date so you can get it booked.” Believe the frustration I get from others and from planning the mere details get to me. Thankfully, I have a loving best friend, confidant, and future husband that deals with me even when I feel like I am becoming slightly insane.
The key to not stressing about your wedding that I have learned is basically screw everyone else and what they want your wedding to be. Your parents and his/her parents probably want a certain wedding, society expects weddings to be this big deal, and well our version of our wedding is nothing like those. We want our wedding to be unique and represent us and who we are coming together to begin the rest of our lives. We do not want others asking us questions all the time that we ourselves do not know the answer to. After all, it has barely been 3 weeks of us engaged. It new to us and we are figuring out what we want at our own time. It does not matter what others want from our wedding because it is our celebration of us. Do not get me wrong, I want all my family and friends there to celebrate it with me. But, my wedding is not your pristine ideal wedding. It is my fiancé’s and my wedding.
One of the most essential things to know about getting over wedding planning stress is to not let it get to you. Take a moment and relax. Watch a movie, put on a face mask, and detach yourself from everything. Looking at venues, vendors, and decorations become a bore after a while and sometimes you just need to step back and tack one thing at a time. Sometimes those one second decisions on a whim, just to plan, are not the things you want. So, I encourage those in the same situation to take your time and relax. This is your moment and yes you want planning to go smoothly, the perfect dress, and most of all a magical wedding. But, just take a moment and do something that makes you happy rather than planning your wedding nonstop.
Lastly, to get over my stress I make lists. I create lists of places I want my wedding to be and limit it down. I create lists about food options and which to serve. I even make lists of color schemes and print out color palettes to put next to them to determine which ones I like more. Even with my organization tactic of lists I still have not made any decisions with my fiancé. But, as long as we are on the path to somewhere and limiting our options I am very encouraged that we will make all these decision in due time.
All in all, wedding stress happens even for those newly engaged. And as much as I love my fiancé sometimes I admit the frustration gets the best of me. But, I cannot complain because I have found a wonderful, hilarious, God fearing man to spend the rest of my life with. He loves me for me even when I sound unreasonable. And when I am in need of someone to just listen to my woes he is there. Even when we both get stressed out about the planning process and do not know where to turn to I am glad to say that we both turn to God and pray for guidance. Everything happens in God’s timing including this big step of marriage that we are taking. So, I am not afraid of the judgment I get from others for getting engaged and potentially marrying young or even the judgment of not yet knowing every detail of our wedding yet. We are creating this life together and even with stress tactics and organization it becomes overwhelming. So, I am glad to have a man by my side who loves me, prays with me, and who is devoted to a life with me.
