On December 27, 2015 — almost one whole year ago — I decided to get a tattoo. I always told myself that when I get a tattoo, it must be meaningful. And this one was. I asked that a semicolon be placed on my left collarbone.
What is a semi colon you may ask? Beginner of the movement, Amy Bluel, says, "an author uses a semi-colon when he could have ended the sentence, but chose not to. You are the author and the sentence is your life." This movement is intended to, "present hope and love for those who are struggling with depression, suicide, addiction, and self-injury.”
My hope brought about by this tattoo, specifically, is the major depression that I struggled to overcome my early years in high school.
Now, before you ask me why I am admitting such a 'private thing,' realize that it isn't so private. Major depression affects every aspect of your life, so hiding it is harder than getting help. Those diagnosed with major depression shouldn't have to keep it private because it hurts more than it helps.
And, please don't think that those with depression are "outsiders of the norm." More people are inflicted with depression than you think. Depression is ten times more common than it was 50 years ago. And twice as many women experience depression than men, though it is speculated that the higher male to female ratio of substance abuse has something to do with men self-medicating their depression or other forms of mood disorders. In fact, out of the one in eight adults and one in 33 children that meet the criteria for major depression, 80 percent never receive treatment. And, of those that meet the criteria for major depression, 15 percent commit suicide, with 80 percent of those suicides occurring in males (although, women attempt three to four times more than men). There is a stigma around depression that not only inhibits us from identifying the problem, but also from taking the necessary steps to get better.
If so many people are affected, then why are we so afraid to talk about it? This was my reasoning behind my tattoo. My depression and my struggle for happiness are a part of who I am. I should not be afraid to say I had diagnosable major depression, along with 18 percent of the population. I should not be afraid to say that I got help and I got better. I should not be afraid to say, "I struggle with depression every day, but I am learning to find happiness." I should not be afraid to be proud of how far I've come.
So, why do I wear my tattoo?
I wear the semicolon on my collarbone so it is close to my heart.
I wear the semicolon to always remind myself that there is help, that I received help, and that I'll always be able to find help.
I wear the semicolon to remind those who struggle with depression that they are not alone, and that there is help.
I wear the semicolon for those who haven't received treatment, to know that if they are ever ready to receive help, someone will be there.
I wear the semicolon for those who never received help, for those who never knew there was help, and for those who took their life too soon.
I wear the semicolon as a reminder that I am not my depression, but rather it is only one small part of me.
I wear the semicolon to end the stigma around depression and suicide.
I wear the semicolon.
