Have you ever felt straight up defeated?
That's a dumb question for me to ask, because you have. We all have at some point, or multiple points, in our lives. That point was last week for me. I was overwhelmed, anxious and frustrated, but I was aware of what was going on inside of me. I knew that the enemy was getting to me, and I kept wanting to trust God but I was really struggling to. It wasn't that I didn't believe that God would give the strength to get through the challenges that I was facing, it was just that I felt too apathetic to live that belief out.
Psalm 59:16 (NIV)
“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.”
This was the Verse of the Day on my Bible app this past Monday, and wowza, was it what I needed to hear that morning. I needed to see those words. I needed to be reminded that, while I might be going through some difficult things, I have the CHOICE to sing of God's strength and love. As you've probably heard before, you always have the choice to rejoice.
But I want to actually choose to rejoice instead of just telling myself that I should. I tend to look at a verse like Psalm 59:16 in the midst of hardships and believe that it's true, but not live like it's true. What kind of a witness am I if I "believe" that I can rejoice during times of trouble but when someone asks me how I am, I say that I'm stressed out and that I feel like my life is falling apart?
Either I'm lying to that person or I'm lying to myself. It's not possible for me to believe one thing and to say something else. And if I am saying something else, then I probably don't fully believe that God will provide like I thought I did. Instead of just believing Psalm 59:16 when I read it and then forgetting all about it when it comes time for me to live it out, I want the meaning of that verse to stick. When someone asks me how I am, I want to say that I might be overwhelmed, but I know that God has more POWER than my problems and has a love for me that is DEEPER and WIDER than the ocean. I want to tell that person that, because I know how great God's love is for me, I know that He is making all, all, all, all, ALL things work together for my good and for His glory.
That's how I want to witness.
