We all so badly want to be loved.
We are hopeless romantics or just feel hopeless in general.
Being a part of the "millennial" generation comes with this: we are looking for love or someone to love us so badly that we are settling. I was listening to a group of girls the other day and they were talking about how " a guy smiled and made eye contact with them so he must be interested". Is this our standard? Is that all that it takes for them to do to get our heart beating fast, to grab our attention? We are shocked when a guy holds the door open for us or knows our name. I am just going to be straightforward with you...that is horribly sad.
I just think about the steps that a man takes if he is interested in you and these things come to mind: come up and talk to you in person, introduce himself, and face to face compliment you.
Social media is ruining us. Now dating includes Snapchat, texting, FaceTimie, or getting a DM on Instagram with your latest picture attached saying "*emoji*heart eyes X 5". I won't settle for this and neither should you. A man that is going to lead you well is going to date you. He is going to take you out and he is going to tell you how special you are to your face, not over a text message. We don't need to let it be easy for guys to pursue us because that is what is creating this problem. Set this standard for yourself and don't waiver on it.
I honestly would send this same message to guys: You are going to be pursued in a different way, but don't settle for this form of "social media dating" that is on the rise. Be the one who says that you will be going out on dates and your time together will be centered around quality time.
Another aspect of this "romanticizing everything" problem is unrealistic expectations. I scroll through Twitter and I see these accounts that say things like "if your boyfriend doesn't know your coffee order by heart are you even dating" or "if he doesn't love country music, dance like a fool with me, or post pictures of me on his Instagram then is it even a relationship?" That is not what love looks like. Love is selfless, and it expects nothing. Love is kind, and it has a desire to serve more than it does to be served. The purpose of being in a relationship is not about how it is going to make your life better or happier, but it is how you are challenging and growing someone else. It is how you are learning to love better. Unrealistic expectations are unfair. I feel like some show a lack of maturity which most likely means that you aren't ready to care for someone else in that way.
So, this may sound like a dating lecture to you, but I'd like to think of it more as a pep talk to think more of yourself and to not settle. I know in my own life that I am barely willing to give anyone the time of day unless they are setting themselves apart from how our whole culture behaves because that is the standard I have for myself. So maybe you're there too, or maybe you aren't. Either way, know that you deserve more than a passing smile or a view on your Snapchat story. You deserve to be pursued.