College can either be a mandatory pinpoint marking your ascent into adulthood or it can be the exciting uphill climb of a lifelong roller coaster. We get to choose whether or not we make college interesting, exciting, lively, worthwhile and most importantly, uncomfortable. Going to church, following our parents' rules, getting through high school, these all seem like preparation for how we will live the rest of our lives. If that was the intention, though, then why does college tend to feel like this arbitrary hurdle we're obligated to jump over in order to receive the ever-sought-after "adult" designation? Why should college matter if we're meant to keep living like we did before?
If you see your life through senior year of high school as a guideline for living, college will feel like a hurdle; but if you see everything up until this point as a suggestion for how to live, then you can embrace the inevitable, terrifying and beautiful discomfort that is college. We have all heard the idea of "teach to the standard, learn to the objective." You were taught the guidelines growing up, but now is the time to tailor your actions to your goals. Yes, your goals, not your parents'.
After two years of college I have learned that asking "why?" instead of saying "OK" is the most beneficial to constructing my future. Asking "why?" forms your individuality, enhances your uniqueness and defines your purpose. If you grew up going to church every Sunday, don't keep this habit out of obligation. Ask yourself "Why is going to church important to me?" If you can answer this for yourself, habits stop being obligations and start becoming desires. If you grew up doing homework immediately after you got home from school, don't assume this is how you are the most productive. Listen to your body, maybe you get the most done at 5 a.m. instead of 3 p.m. You have the ability to choose how to be most efficient, but now there is a certain discomfort that surfaces in the realization that you have the capability to define success and decide to succeed.
The most important aspect of this determination of autonomy is asking "why?" about people. Don't conform to the stereotypes and assumptions you have learned. College is the place where you get the first in-depth opportunity to empathize instead of sympathize. You have the opportunity to meet people of different political ideologies, religious viewpoints, sexual orientation, gender identification and cultures than yourself. When finding new friends, don't say "OK" to the types of people who comprised your high school clique. Ask "why?" if you feel uncomfortable around people who are different.
Stop saying "okay" to what you think is right and starting asking "why is this right?" The answers you come up with in four years of college will define you more than the first 18 years of your life. We also need to realize that our refusal to question ourselves will define us just as much as our ability to transform and transcend who we used to be.
