Recently, I [cyber]-met a woman and we have a lot in common. We speak about films, music, fashion and a number of other things. Some of our conversations have even gone into depth about relationships and the meaning of trust. Speaking with her fascinates me because it feels as if I am speaking with a woman that lives right down the street from me. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, she lives in Jordan. Now for the part that is going to leave you perplexed: she is not all that different from the women I know in the USA. Yes, she wears a Hijab and speaks Arabic but if you stripped that away you would realize how much she has in common with western women. What a shocker, right?

Unfortunately, I must admit, it was a bit of a shock. But the more I speak with her, the more I realize that people are not all that different; at least not to the extent that the media and society wants us to believe. It bothers me that I even had the preconceived idea that she would be so different from the women in the USA. But I have come to the conclusion that this preconception came from the years of being conditioned to believe that we are all different.

So, why does society want us to believe we are different from the rest of our human beings? I believe there are a multitude of reasons why but this article will cover the one I feel is central.

Want

Society wants to make us believe we are different because WE want to believe that we are different. For most of us, people telling us how special we are has characterized our entire lives. Yet as we grow older, the reality that there are many other “special” people out in the world begins to set in. To combat this realization we begin to form groups based on differences. These groups then lead the way to us feeling “special” again. The problem is that in order to form these groups we must first emphasize difference. If we are not different, then only one group will exist. And with only one group there can be no elite group; belonging to an elite group is another desire of ours. Thus we have this natural desire to exist in separate groups so that we can then claim superiority. We also want these groups because then we can choose whom we associate ourselves with. With the existence of groups, we do not have to associate ourselves with people who are doing things we may not understand or enjoy. But in reality, regardless of the groups we claim, we will always be associated to each other because we are all humans.

I firmly believe that our want to be different is the driving force in society’s quest to make us feel that we are different. People need to become aware of the ways this desire hurts them. Our want to be different distances us from others and makes us lose opportunities to collaborate. Also, many individuals are being exploited and manipulated because of their want to be different. Whether it is politicians or the media, people are capitalizing on, and profiting from, this desire. Entire markets, such as politics, exist solely because of our desire to be different. Without highlighting our differences, people like Donald Trump would not be so successful with their campaigns. All in all, people have realized the magnitude with which individuals want to feel different from one another and are manipulating individuals with that desire.

If we want to stop being manipulated and exploited then we must realize that we are contributing to the problem. We continue to fuel the division that is currently in our world by distancing ourselves from others on the notion that they are different. We must stop allowing ourselves to see others as different people and instead realize that we all share similar desires. The world would be a better place if, instead of highlighting our differences, we celebrated our similarities.