There’s a theory out there that says we have three loves in our lifetime; each of these for a different reason.
The theory goes like this:
The first love is when you’re young. You don’t really know what love is supposed to feel like, so you don’t ever question if it’s right or wrong. You just go with the flow. It makes you happy, you think. You double date with your friends in high school, you go to school dances, and a lot of the times, your parents drive you around because you’re still too young to have your driver’s licenses. This love is purely lust.
The second love is a hard love. You fall hard and you fall fast. It’s a love that you can’t describe because it’s so different from the first one, and you only know what the first one felt like. This love tends to be unhealthy; unbalanced and extremely emotional. You spend way too much time with this love, probably because you’re old enough to drive yourselves around now. A lot of times this can lead to physical or emotional abuse. You probably stayed in this relationship way longer than you should have. Making things work is more important than making things healthy. This is probably the worst breakup you will go through. You’ll feel like your entire world has come crashing down and you’re struggling to put the pieces back together because the pieces are on top of you, suffocating you. This love is based off of passion.
The third love is your last. It’s the one that is completely and utterly unexpected. This love often times feels too good to be true. It just works, everything goes smoothly, and you have no idea how you got so lucky. There are no requirements to be loved or accepted. It’s so true and genuine that even after a year you still can’t believe it’s yours. Through whatever life complications arise, you come out stronger than ever. Nothing can make you grow apart. This love is commitment.
I’m lucky enough to say that I’ve found my final love. Although, getting to him hasn’t been easy.
My first love was my freshman year of high school. We were together for about four months. We went to our first Winter Formal together, he came and met my horse, and things ended, and now, five years later, we still talk, he’s happy for me when I’m happy, and I’m happy for him when he’s happy. He’s watched me struggle, and he told me he would always be a phone call away. I’m lucky to have had him as a first love.
Oh the awkwardness of the group photos..
My second love lines up exactly like the theory says it should. We were together for a year and a half, six months longer than we should have been. We spent way too much time together and argued way more than we should have- probably because we loved way harder than we should have for our age. This boy taught me that I don’t need a boy to love me in order to love myself. He taught me how to love someone regardless of their flaws. He taught me how to fight; how to stand up for what I believe in. This was the hardest breakup I went through, and I went through it about six or seven times in those last six months. We don’t talk anymore. It’s too hard to remember what we had and how terribly it ended.
My third love is the best thing that ever happened to me. We met unexpectedly, and he fit every aspect of what I was looking for. These are screenshots of the conversation I had with the friend that introduced us.
Everything about being with JP feels right. My family loves him, I love his family. He loves my horse, and she loves him (the most important thing ever, obviously!) This boy has destroyed any preexisting thoughts I had about “love.” He’s shown me what unconditional love is and how it feels to be truly accepted. He handles my slight attitude with a smile, my ice-cream cravings without judgment, and my need for physical affection without complaints. He does have flaws himself, but they don’t impact our relationship because this love is so unconditional.
Now, I understand that I'm young and I have a lot of life left to live, but if this theory is correct, then I've found my final love.