First off, I don’t believe sexism is a problem anymore. Women can vote now, and we go to college more than men do, therefore we do not need feminism because sexism doesn’t exist. Since we don’t need feminism, I am not a feminist. “Feminists” just want to bitch about EVERYTHING, and dye their hair crazy colors, and show their nipples to get the attention of males. They couldn’t get it any other way, so not shaving, cutting their hair and dying it crazy colors, and most importantly “freeing” their nipples is the way to go. They’re just bitter.

I am not a feminist because I don’t hate men and I believe in equality. Feminists just want special treatment, which is what’s really sexist. Women should start being more thankful. Be thankful for keys, and apps that make walking home, or to our cars in the dark safe now. Be thankful that people came up with rape proof panties. Rape wouldn’t even be a problem if women would stop drinking so much, and wear more clothes, and stop being whores.

We should take notes from Middle Eastern countries where women cover themselves head to toe, stay inside, don’t talk to men outside their families, don’t drink, and just listen to their husbands because God said that we should be subservient to our husbands. Rape doesn’t happen in those countries because all the women are married. We should take notes. These women are all married and have children, and they do it without being whores or dating sites. If they don’t need feminism neither do we.

Feminists moan and nag about how our society is “plagued” by some made up “rape culture,” but they’re the ones encouraging women to embrace their sexuality. Like, don’t they know that only whores get raped? So, if you don’t want to get raped don’t be a whore and sleep with every guy you meet. Men are visual creatures. You wouldn't taunt a lion with a slab of meat. Don't taunt men with your risque clothing, and sexually deviant behavior.

Another reason I’m not a feminist is because they just complain about not being paid equally. There’s no such thing as the pay gap. It’s made up propaganda perpetuated by liberals to make women feel victimized by men to get their vote. DUH. Women get paid less because we are #blessed to have the babies. So, men will always be paid more because they don’t need to be pregnant and take off work. Pregnancy is an inconvenience to companies. We don’t even need to take off work for pregnancy. Even though many women spend their mornings during the first trimester draped over a toilet vomiting. So, they can just puke there. As long as they don’t hog the bathroom, though. Pregnant women can go their doctor’s appointments during their lunch breaks. It’s just the responsible thing to do.

It’s irresponsible to not receive medical care when you’re pregnant, and it’s not fair to ask for time off. That’s asking for special treatment that men don’t get. If you can’t afford medical care, then you shouldn’t have babies. It’s simple. It’ll even solve societal problems like how we have too many poor people. If poor people don’t have babies, then we won’t have to pay for them

If you would just work harder, not dress like that, not drink so much, not go to the bars, mind your own business, just accept it, or just stay home, there wouldn't be any problems.

Disclaimer: This article is satire.