They are from different background, speak different languages. She’s humble hard-working geek while he’s a proud boy with a more of a relaxing lifestyle. Nothing can stop her from completing her goals but he’s easier to give up. But in reverse, he’s an overachiever while she settles with simple life goals.
He loves video games while she thinks it’s time-wasting. She likes romance and he thinks it is unrealistic. He enjoys spending alone time to read or watch while she prefers socializing. None of their hobbies overlapse. .
She grew up amongst family chaos and suffered from a lot of personal issues. She became a highly sensitive kid with a fragile heart. She feels more than says and have good understanding for people around. But growing up in a more peaceful environment builds him as a strong mind and an independent heart. His mind overrules his heart. Quite often do his unintentionally careless words break her heart. Being apart is what she hates the most because with his private nature, daily communication is not his ideal choice while it’s the only way she can push away her insecurities about this relationship .
They are mostly opposite from each other. Thus, they fight often. Sometimes she wants to give up. Sometimes she thinks they aren’t compatible, that it’s tiring when two people can’t understand each other, it’s even more exhausting when instead of enjoying the moment, two have to keep trying to put one in another’s shoes. But sometimes she wonders how they could be with each other for so long and still be deeply in love.
Then she realizes there’s no such thing as “compatibility”. Compatibility does not start from any characteristic. It’s a process of communicating, debating and finding out the best solution.
Two pieces of puzzles that fit together never look the same. Nothing in the world can automatically fit without a tiny change: two pieces of rock, two wooden segments, two different souls.
People have been blaming those differences for their separation. They have been too focusing on flaws and gaps that they forget to turn around to see another exit: what they could do to fill the gaps. It’s not about trying to make his hobbies yours or ask him to do something he doesn’t want to. It’s not about not being yourself or trying to change your partner. It’s about respecting each other’s world. A couple doesn’t have to have a common goals, the key is to always be physically and emotionally supportive. It’s about enhancing the differences, complementing each other and helping each other out in life. It’s fascinating meeting someone with exactly the same characteristics, everything in common, less disagreement, less fight. But on some level isn’t it a little boring because you would never discover other aspects of life that you never thought of.
She’s been learning a lot more from him on electric cars, solar energy, marketing and other things he’s interested in, and vice versa. Everyday in the relationships is a surprise discovering new outlook of your partner. This could go along with disagreement and intense debates , but that does not mean “Our relationship stops here because we disagree too much”
Just put aside the our standards and expectations, open up our mind to listen, and open up our heart to accept.
