5 Ways Thick Thighs Save Lives
Politics and Activism

5 Ways Thick Thighs Save Lives

This is for thick thighs. God Bless.

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Eboni Nash

First things first, God bless thick thighs. Although there is an overwhelming controversy on thigh gaps versus thick thighs, I love all shapes and sizes. The fact that you can be confident in your body is a blessing within itself. With saying that, we are going to pay tribute to the thick thighs.

1. The Bigger Your Thighs, The More Snacks You Can Hold.

Standing up, our thighs are lusciously shaped. They are round, fluent, and flirtatious. However, we all know the struggle of sitting down. We unconsciously estimate the size of the seat. Upon initial contact, there is no stopping our thighs. With a rush of gravity, our perfectly shaped thighs are pressed to the max. Our average Australia-sized thighs are now the size of Europe. With our extended leg room, we are better able to build a personal table. We are now able to lay our snacks out, color code them, create war, and then consume them. It is like our own personal battleground on our laps. This comes in handy when watching movies, picnics, and other specific occasions.

2. The Closer Your Thighs, The Closer You Are To Being A Mermaid

As a curvy individual, it is important to compare ourselves to something magical (like our thighs). In this case, we are referring to mermaids. Their tales are the best part. Although romanticized heavily in fairy tales, mermaids are given a curvy body to look appealing to the eye. If their curves are so appealing, why can't ours be?

3. They Are Always A Seat Belt For Chairs

Sitting down in a chair with arms, you are never promised a clean get up. It is like opening a can of uncooked Pillsbury biscuit dough. The excess thighs just leaks over the sides of the chair, creating a safety-lock seat belt. This makes it difficult to stand up at times. But it also ensures that you will not fall out of your chair.

4. Your Thigh Will Catch Your Phone in Desperate Situations

For example, we all know those moments when you are sitting on the toilet scrolling through Facebook. But then all of a sudden, your phone slips through your grasp, plummeting to the toilet below. You have two option. You can face the fact that you just lost your expensive phone with all your memories and/or important contacts. Or, you can clasp your thighs together so fast that it sends an earthquake to Chicago. The second option is why thighs saves lives. Your phone will be safe and secure in between your thighs.

5. They Help With Personal Space

We all know the struggle of shopping, or just public in general. Where the crowds are heavy, people are pushing, and all you want to do is get your things and get out. Well, with thighs, you are better able to booty-bump your way through crowds. A little shimmy here, a little hip thrust here, and you have yourself a great deal during black Friday. The possibilities are endless.

So I must reiterate myself again. Though all shapes and sizes are beautiful, this one is for the thick thighs. Thick thighs are happy thighs! God Bless.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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