College is an exciting and difficult time for everyone. For the first eighteen years of your life, everyone and their momma warn you about what’s to come. You watch countless college vlogs from your favorite YouTubers and made a mood board on Pinterest of your dream dorm. It’s the time where you make lifelong memories with lifelong friends, maybe even meet “The One.” All these fairytale stories make the first year of college feel extremely overwhelming and it’s almost as if everyone lied to you. As the final weeks of my first year in college come to a close here at UCF, I felt it be fitting to reflect on my year in the hopes that you view my story, not as a cautionary tale, but more so, a reality. Everyone’s college experience is different, but it’s a time when anything can happen.

I began my college life early by entering in the summer term, which in the end was beneficial because I got to know the routine of things and familiarize myself with the area before the student population tripled in size. This also meant that you went to class and party with the same people. With a small group, a lot of people got really close really fast. I had trouble with friend groups in high school because I mostly stuck to myself and I was afraid that was going to follow me to college, and for a short while, it did. It wasn’t until one unordinary night, I went to a party and ran into a girl who recognized me. It’s funny how fast our friendship grew and I was soon integrated into her friend group.

We were so close, they felt like family. We did everything from study to party to cry together. Boys and parties were our goals that summer and we sure did succeed. We finished that summer on a high note, hoping to pick up exactly where we left off in the fall, but sadly, things don’t always go as planned.

I never thought a month apart would change the dynamic of the group. Some of our lives went in a new direction where we were each too busy with different things to be able to come together. Others felt that they lost themselves and wanted to focus more on who they truly were. This caused a lot of tension in our group as new and old friends began to mingle and integrate. It wasn’t long until I left the group – there we so many personality differences and favoritism that is made it really hard to please everyone.

The family that I had gained that summer was ripped from me only a few short months later. I had grown so much to love them that when I left, I felt lost and alone. I grew dependent on them and no longer remembered what it was like to do things on my own. I didn’t know what to do or where to go without running into any of them. It came to the point where I couldn’t sleep anymore because I didn’t think I could escape the memory of them in my dreams. I was desperate to make friends but just found myself wasting my time making meaningless connections with boys who didn’t care about me. I was trying to replace the love I thought my friends and I had. It took some time for me to be comfortable with just passing by them at the crosswalk.

Luckily, I had some old friends that were always there for me. We grew closer than we were before. If it weren’t for their continuous love, support and dedication to me, I would still be lost in the mess I created for myself. College is a really fun time, trust me. People will come and go, and that is perfectly okay. Decorating your dorm will seem like the most minor inconvenience. Just remember to cherish the moments that make you happiest, no matter who it’s with because you never know how long they’ll be in your life.