I am your average Jewish girl... raised in a Jewish home, went to a good college, said the four questions at Passover, had a Chi straightener before I had my period, had my first everything at Jewish camp, worked harder for my Bat Mitzvah than I did for the SATs, and grew up having a particular core value instilled in me: date a Nice Jewish Boy. What is a Nice Jewish Boy you might ask?
Nice Jewish Boy (NJB): (n) a cute, ambitious, and hilarious boy that was raised Jewish, has a strong relationship with his mother, therefore, knows how to treat women, and a plethora of other amazing qualities.
Now, whether you are Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, whatever, I promise that you can appreciate a NJB for who they are. But as a typical Jewish girl, I'd like to say that I am fully available for the next NJB that comes along. If you know anyone who fits this bill, let me know please.
1) He has good values.
It's not that Jewish values are superior to any other religion's values, it's just that they A) align with my Jewish values or B) if I wasn't Jewish, he cares about the goodness of people and "acts of love and kindness" (which is a direct quote from the Torah, people).
2) He's well-dressed.
Nine times out of ten, he has a good wardrobe because he either A) dresses nicely for synagogue regularly, B) dresses professionally for work regularly, C) is in AEPi or any other fraternity and dresses up for that regularly, or - my favorite - D) his mother would never let him dress poorly.
3) He knows how to be respectful.
He definitely knows how to be respectful if he can sit through Passover Seders and Bar and Bat Mitzvah services. And we know that his parents actually made him go to the services. And on top of that, he definitely knows how to schmooze with your family after so many awkward Yom Kippur Break-Fasts that his parents made him go to.
4) He is close with his family (specifically his mom).
And therefore, you will be close with them, too. All Jewish mothers are a little hard to win over at first, but they are the best once they have been won! Jewish families throw the best parties and they will welcome you with open arms.
5) He is a smart and hard worker.
Jewish parents do not mess around when it comes to school. He is definitely well-read, well-informed on current events, and will definitely impress your parents. And isn't there something so sexy about smart guys?
6) Sex is a mitzvah.
What's a mitzvah? It's a commandment from God. And if God commands it, then it must be done. Any day of the week... even on the Sabbath. Just saying.
7) He will love you unconditionally.
He does love Miriam, and Sarah, Leah, and all the other matriarchs, but nowhere near as much as he will love you.
