The Girl I Wanted To Be Vs. The Girl I Need To Be
Start writing a post
Relationships

The Girl I Wanted To Be Vs. The Girl I Need To Be

7
The Girl I Wanted To Be Vs. The Girl I Need To Be

My whole entire life I have dreamed of my prince charming. I wanted him to be exactly like they were depicted in the movies. I wanted him to be the one who finishes my sentences, who sung corny songs to me, and who loved me unconditionally. I can remember me thinking in sixth grade that I was going to marry my boyfriend at the time, but then we broke up. This shortly became a process that I endured with every guy that I gave the privilege to call themselves my boyfriend. We'd get together I thought I was going to marry them, we broke up and I looked for love in another place. Soon I began to ask myself what is wrong with me? why can't I find love? why wasn't he the one? (for the most part I was too young), but the one question that still lingered in my mind was what is wrong with me? I felt as if I was incapable of being loved, I was unworthy of love, I was not beautiful enough to be loved.

So I decided to change myself. I decided I wanted to be the girl guys drooled over. I wanted to be the girl that guys whistled at and shouted disrespectful things at because I truly believed that it would make me feel better about myself. I wanted attention and love and I was definitely looking in the wrong place. I began to wear tons of make up, wear immodest clothing, and speak filthily. I thought because i had attention I was that "girl". The girl the every guy wanted and the girl that every girl wanted to be. Believe me when I tell you boy was I wrong. There is no such thing. Every person has there flaws and there is no such thing as being that "girl".

What I had not realized that inner beauty is much more appealing then outward beauty. I did not have to change myself to find love because I already had love. God loved me. I did not have to be that girl because I was and I am the Daughter of a King. I realized that I would find my love on God's timing and not my own. I had all the love I needed and more because I had my God's love. When a guy didn't think that I was pretty enough for him, God thought I was beautiful. I didn't need approval of some boy. I needed approval from God.

From that point on the girl who I wanted to be was just the girl I wanted to be and I found the girl that i needed to be. The girl I needed to be was the girl who had an unshamed love for Christ. A girl who pursued Christ in every move she made. A girl who loved God more than anything in this world because when I felt as if no one loved me.... He did. He does. He always will! His approval triumphs any living persons approval in this world. Lastly I realized any man who does not love God the same as I do is truly incapable of loving and that is not my fault, but it is his own.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Adulting

7 Ideas for Keeping Logins and Passwords Securely

The first line of defense against identity theft is passwords. Unfortunately, many of us fail to remember to use them. Almost 60% of baby boomers don't use secure passwords. And, according to a report by Norton, digital natives are more prone to having their accounts compromised.

560
7 Ideas for Keeping Logins
https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-brown-hoodie-using-laptop-computer-5475747/

The first line of defense against identity theft is passwords. Unfortunately, many of us fail to remember to use them. Almost 60% of baby boomers don't use secure passwords. And, according to a report by Norton, digital natives are more prone to having their accounts compromised.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Ford Cars That We Love

There's a good chance we've all driven a Ford or spent a lot of time at Ford, but what are some of the best cars they've ever made?

30972
Ford Cars That We Love
Photo by Jessy Smith on Unsplash

There are arguably few bigger automakers than Ford. They are a company that shaped the auto industry as we know it today and with a solid reputation in the industry, our wide range of Ford leases has always been a popular choice among drivers.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Prose: One Call

What if you had one call, but you could not say anything other than what you were told to say? In this short excerpt, Bethany finds herself at odds with her jailers and with the one she was told to call, the one she loves. What would you do when the conversation takes a turn off script?

21960
Prose: One Call
https://unsplash.com/s/photos/jail

With each incessant numbing ring of the phone call, I could feel the betrayal coiling around me like the phone line, squeezing me tighter.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

'Hotel Transylvania: Transformania' Film Review

Solid animation can't raise the newest entry in Sony's colorful monster series beyond the basics

83257
'Hotel Transylvania: Transformania' Film Review
Photo Credit: Amazon Prime Video – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6suJohjIvfo

I take a slight issue with the idea that Adam Sandler didn’t have a good dramatic role until ‘Uncut Gems,’ what about ‘Hotel Transylvania’ (he says semi-seriously)?’

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

4 Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced

Are some people just not meant to be together? Is there any way to prevent an impending divorce?

100158
4 Common Reasons Couples Get Divorced

We've all heard the statistics. Roughly 50% of married couples eventually end up divorced. This can lead to complications, problems with your children, financial issues, and no small amount of negative emotions.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments