Alright, I know that you read the title and probably assumed many things, and I understand that saying "I want the old you back" is extremely vague, but I want to get into specifics. When I say that I want the old you back, I don't mean the you that was generally unhappy and unconfident. I really do love to see you succeed in everything that you do and seeing your face boom with enthusiasm and excitement every time you reach a new milestone in your life. That's not what I mean at all. What I mean by "I want the old you back" is "I want our friendship back to the way it was."
I'm going to be completely honest; when I first met you, I never thought you were going to have as big of an impact on my life as you have today. I still remember the earlier days of our friendship, when you would smile every time you saw me and always greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I still remember when I would get small texts from you and how they would make my day so much brighter and how you'd like all my social media posts and comment about how beautiful I was in all caps. I remembered when you were clingy; when you showed me that you cared, and when I promised that I would put as much effort as I can to reciprocate that love.
I know that things like this change all the time and that I should get used to you not being as clingy as you once were, but when someone who made a big impact on your life changes and eventually leaves you, it almost feels impossible to get used to it. I've been distancing myself from others and lashing out on people I love because this kind of change still scares and confuses me. I wish I can show you how much I really do love and support you again, but the problem is you wouldn't want me to anymore.
I can never help by cry every time I see pictures of us when we were still the closest of friends. I can't help but think about how obsessed we once were with each other and how I will never be able to get any of that back or make new memories with you. There's so much I want to say to you, but so little that you want to hear from me, and it breaks my heart.
All I'm hoping is that one day, who knows how long but one day, we will forget about each other completely, we will be able to reintroduce ourselves to each other, I will have that clingy, touchy friend back, and we will be making all those memories I wish we made but we never got to make together. You will always be my rock, no matter where life takes us, and I hope it's only a matter of time until the old you does come back.
