Want To Study Abroad? It’s Never Been Easier!
Politics and Activism

Want To Study Abroad? It’s Never Been Easier!

Here are 9 easy steps to get you to the place you need to be.

Southern CT

Are you going to study abroad next year or sometime in the future? If so, I am glad to tell you that getting to your abroad site could not be easier. The office of study abroad just sent us a list of instructions to help us get to out sites. They told us that the directions were intended to build our independence and self-reliance for our year away.

Here is the email they sent us:

Dear Study Abroad Student,

Congratulations on taking your first step towards your study abroad journey! You will find that this experience will help you become an independent person who has the necessary skills to make it in the real world. So, for the first step of your journey, you will need to follow the following instructions to reach your site safely. We have included images to help you as well.

  1. Hitchhike to the nearest port
  2. Nothing helps you connect to your fellow man like hitchhiking on a dark highway. Be sure to get into a truck with a questionable looking old man with a long grey beard, they tend to have the best stories. You might feel a small twinge of fear, but just remember that is perfectly natural.
  3. Regret your prejudice when you learn he is actually a very nice man who confides in you his own existential crisis. Just because he is an old truck driver does not mean he doesn’t have hopes and dreams of his own. Listen to him, and possibly give him a piece of advice that you think is only a small bit of kindness, but turns out to change his life. You will probably learn down the road that he rekindled his relationship with his estranged son.
  4. When you arrive at the port, walk up to a salty sea captain and convince him to take you across the ocean in exchange for working on his shrimping vessel. He will only begrudgingly agree because you have just enough money to convince him you’re worth the trouble, but like the truck driver, you will probably warm up to each other. But in the meantime, you must deal with the fact that he doesn’t like city boys like you, and he doesn’t believe you will pull your weight on the boat.
  5. You will have to travel through a raging storm out on the open ocean, but when the Captain’s daughter/son is thrown to the sea, you will earn his trust by rescuing her. You will find that when you save his daughter /son from certain doom, he comes to respect you and your desire to study abroad. Before he was extremely protective of his daughter/son, he no longer sees you as a threat.
  6. Unfortunately, the captain will lose your trust again when sees you kissing him/her on the top of the deck. Even though the daughter/son made the first move, the captain only saw the incriminating part, and he almost threw you overboard. You will ask the daughter/son to tell him the truth, but she/he is too scared of him.
  7. Thankfully, she/he works up the courage to explain to the situation, and you made it to you abroad country without further incident. Now that the captain knows the truth, you both can go back to cohabitating in peace.
  8. Once you land in your country, he will need to rent a motorcycle to get you to your University. Even though you have never ridden a motorcycle before, you will explain to the man who owns the bike that you are late and your only hope of getting there on time is using the motorcycle. As if he is going against his better judgment, he decided to rent his bike to you.
  9. You will crash your motorcycle. Don’t worry; you will make it out with only minor injuries. However, the bike will be totaled, and you will not know how you will explain this one. You realize that you never gave the man you rented it from your contact information, so he will never know. But can you live with the guilt?
    1. Using the last of your money, you take the bus to your university. Although you almost got robbed on the bus, you will make it to your site in good health. So here are your nine easy steps to make your way to your foreign university. It might seem a bit daunting at first, but remember, you are not alone. Generations of students have followed these steps exactly, and no one has gotten hurt. Good luck and enjoy your journey!
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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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