I guess, to some, that this means that I'm - and other women who feel the same as me - not a "normal" woman. It seems that in society, a woman's ultimate goal is to find a boyfriend, get married, and have 2.4 kids. But in fact, the number of women who choose to get married has dropped throughout the decades, according to a 2014 Pew Research survey. Sit tight, this will be tl;dr if you are not one of these women, men, or anyone.
Ever since I was little, I had known that I didn't want kids. It was just something I knew wasn't for me, even when I was a kid myself. I had, and still do have, no patience for them. Every time I am in a store and a child is screaming, I wince and try to get away as quickly as possible. If a parent keeps telling their kid, "No, you can't have that," or "Stop that", and the kid is still begging for the candy or toy or whatever, I sometimes find myself gritting my teeth because they're not taking "no" for an answer, and...uh, shutting up, I suppose.
When I was a teenager, I did do some babysitting, just to make some extra money. But I would only babysit kids who were older than three, and potty trained. While it was lucky that my charges were normally behaved enough, there were still times where I would regret taking the job.
Starting in my early 20s, and continuing even now, whenever I mention that I hate kids and never want any, people say "Oh, it's different when they're your own", "You'll change your mind," or, my personal favorite, "That's selfish". These people are usually women.
Okay, "it's different when they're your own." I get what people actually mean by this, but to me, personally, that difference really is that I am unable to return the kids and therefore are stuck with them. No, thank you.
"You'll change your mind"- I have felt this way for over 20 years, why would I change my mind now? And why does it even have to change? The only way my mind has ever changed regarding this manner is that every week I am increasingly convinced that children are just not for me. (Can I get a "what what" on this?)
"That's selfish"- I don't get this one. How? The kids don't even exist, it's not like I'm neglecting them to focus on taking care of myself. This just makes no sense. Ladies, gents, and everyone else ask anyone who says it why it's selfish, see what they say.
I am fortunate that my parents are aware of my desire never to have children, and are 100 percent accepting of it. They have two adorable grandchildren from my sister to keep them happy.
I plan to put any mothering instincts that I do have into a few dogs, and maybe a cat. Four-legged creatures have just as much unconditional love to give as human creatures do.
I have a similar stance on relationships/marriage. This is partly the reason that I choose to be childfree, but I crave freedom and independence, and for me, marriage and relationships are the total opposite. I have been in brief relationships in the past, but they were never a priority. And now, I just graduated college, it's time for me to take on the world and live my life, find out what I'm capable of, and I can't do that if I am tied down to someone (cue the "A relationship doesn't mean you're tied down" comments. I don't care. For me it does, so please stop).
Some comments I encounter are, "But who will take care of you when you grow old?"- What, so I should get with someone only so I can be a burden to them in my old age? Isn't that selfish?
Or the more common response, "Don't worry (I'm not), you'll find someone". As if being single is a curse and not a state of my own choosing. Trust me, just in the past five years alone, I have had plenty of opportunities, as well as offers, that would have made me not single. But I consciously turned them all down because it is just not something I am interested in for myself anymore. What's the saying? "Good for her! But [it's] not for me."
My circle of wonderful, loving friends who make me smile on a regular basis, and encourage me to go out there and kick ass, make me happier than anything else. I believe it is possible for one to live a perfectly happy, and fulfilling, life with nothing but good friends, a great job that I enjoy (something I am still searching for), and also a puppy, because how can you say no to those faces?
And there isn't anything wrong with that. Let's just all do us as we please, and we should be able to do so without outside judgment.